Today, the four of us headed out with Ken and his wife to yum char nearby our house. AFter the meal, we then headed to this bakery situated across the shore, around 30 minutes drive from where we live. It is a bakery on sale, and Ken and his wife were pretty keen to buying it. I saw it from the outside cause Ken didn't stop to inspect it further. He and his wife had done that earlier in the week, which spooned them to like it so much. From what I saw, it seemed to be small. The signage didn't do well of a job becasue K had to tell me where I had to look. But it's their business, so I can't object to anything they say.
The rest of the trip was somewhat boring. YEs, we did get to go out to the shopping mall over there. But there was a sense of not wanting to be there from the couple, plus the kids were being obnoxious. So it was not as good as i had first hoped for. Anyway, it was still a better day than most Sundays. Moreover, I did get free lunch from Yum Char. So the free lunch probably outweighed the boredom.
Now, I want to talk about the shop abit more. It is located pretty far from our house and Ken's. I don't how they are going to take care of that issue. You can't drive to work everyday across the harbour bridge, and it wouldn't be the commutable way to do so. The petrol cost, the driving exhaustion, above all things. It would drag on them if it was to happen in a long term.
There is one more thing, Ken had implied that K and I might help out. It was something of a buster because I never wanted to work with them. He said inside the car on the way back from checking out the outside shop that I was a good cake decorator. To be fair, I was not a good decorator. I designed cakes, when I was at the other bakery because there were no other people wanting that job. I was only doing to fill in the gap. ANd I never thought of my designs as any way good. They were ok, in par with the poor standard in a poor area. SO I get overlooked by customers because these people weren't as picky. Somehow, Ken thought I was a good cake designer. He said that to his wife, which he got a chuckle back from her. Because he said as if I would therefore fill in the cake decorator role, I wasn't happy to hear it. It implies that I will thus become a worker there if they were to buy th shop. Bumper.
How can I tell them that I donot wish to help them out? Being a blood relative to him, it would make him angry at me and to the whole family, I will earn myself a bad name. Let's just hope he will see my point of view when I tell him that. Otherwise, get a new life.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Fuss Over Nothingness
Something is really bothering me as of last night. On the night of the School Arts Festival, where K and I were going off to the kids' performances, the parents were being obnoxious and very immature. I discovered that the oppressed was on the phone with my other aunt in Aus on that very evening, backstabbing me and K becasue we were taking their kids out late. I mean we only left the house for not very long. We returned at around 8.10pm earlier than most people who were there. So why the fuck were they saying these things? Are they trying to make up new fights over nothing?? So shit man.
What is worse to me was their reaction when we got back from the festival. At first, I wasn't taking in their actions because it was such a good night for the kids. So I didn't bother to think about it that much. But now, that is changed. When K told me about the parents' nonsense behaviour, it's game on.
On the night, we parked the car in the driveway in the usual place, with the garage door was already open. I thought it was so waiting for us. Anyway, Ju ran in first very quickly while Jord waited inside the car with K and I as we were slowing getting our stuff into the house. We entered the house through the front door rather than the opened garage door. Jord walked before us, saying to the douche bag and the oppressed with very high enthusiasm, but to little avail. The parents were just sat their with their eyes fixated on the screen. My impression on that scene was that the parents were so f***ing stupid. I mean the kids had just done great performances at their productions, so you'd think that the parents should have shared some of that excitement. But no. There was no glee in those people.
At first, obviously seeing this, I was quite disappointed in the parents, but I didn't think any less of them. NOw, however, the parents were apparently mad at us for coming home late. They gossipped that we weren't doing our job properly and we don't help them out as much as we ought to be doing. Fuck that.
So even those who don't know us think of K and I as monsters. We are now looked at by most people in my family as child abusers. K insisted that we don't make a big fuss over it because we know for a fact that these allegations aren't true. If people choose to believe these one-sided views about us, then let them be. We'll just move on and be the bigger person here.
What is worse to me was their reaction when we got back from the festival. At first, I wasn't taking in their actions because it was such a good night for the kids. So I didn't bother to think about it that much. But now, that is changed. When K told me about the parents' nonsense behaviour, it's game on.
On the night, we parked the car in the driveway in the usual place, with the garage door was already open. I thought it was so waiting for us. Anyway, Ju ran in first very quickly while Jord waited inside the car with K and I as we were slowing getting our stuff into the house. We entered the house through the front door rather than the opened garage door. Jord walked before us, saying to the douche bag and the oppressed with very high enthusiasm, but to little avail. The parents were just sat their with their eyes fixated on the screen. My impression on that scene was that the parents were so f***ing stupid. I mean the kids had just done great performances at their productions, so you'd think that the parents should have shared some of that excitement. But no. There was no glee in those people.
At first, obviously seeing this, I was quite disappointed in the parents, but I didn't think any less of them. NOw, however, the parents were apparently mad at us for coming home late. They gossipped that we weren't doing our job properly and we don't help them out as much as we ought to be doing. Fuck that.
So even those who don't know us think of K and I as monsters. We are now looked at by most people in my family as child abusers. K insisted that we don't make a big fuss over it because we know for a fact that these allegations aren't true. If people choose to believe these one-sided views about us, then let them be. We'll just move on and be the bigger person here.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Festival Arts at School
Yesterday night, K and I, along the kids, went to their show production at school. Initially, it was abit awkward for me, as I felt out of place. However, that sentiment went away when I went to see Jord's play. At first, K and I were at the wrong area just outside of Jord's class where there were chairs and a centre stage, which we assumed was Jord's set. WE were wrong, and then had gone to the actual set which was inside the class. At first we didn't see Jord there, but toward the end, his cue was the people running away in which he came on with a bunch of other kids. Seeing him there was awesome, watching him in his first ever play. He played the part of a hunter apparently looking for a hippo. Don't really understood what the play was about, nonetheless, it was cool to see a child's involvement in such activities. He told me later that he was a person running away from a bunch of hippos, which further reinforced confusion. Funny.
Next, after watching Jord in his play, we signed him out and headed to see Ju's "How the Kiwis Lost Its Wings." The children participants were dressed according to colours that relate to type of species. Some kids were dressed as woods, with facial paints on. We didn't see her. At first, K assumed she was one of the tree people, but we didn't spot her in that group. As Ju was wearing deep blue top, I thought she was involved in the group of dark topped, who were some sort of birds. When the dark top kids got on stage, we didn't see her. Jord, at this point, kept on asking where Ju was. The play ended and we still hadn't seen Ju. But the play had to be reenacted for the late comers, it was there that we discovered her in the bunch of yellow tshirts kids. She was, this was found out later, a bug that habituate in the woods. I toook a picture of her, just one. But I did take more pictures later in the night when we got out. Ju seemed to enjoy the attention, which I thought she deserved it. Good to see her having fun.
So after watching both of the kids' performances, K decided to buy them some treats. K bought chocolates and cookies for both of them for their rewards.
The whole night was awesome, I would say. It was filled with some awesome entertainment by the kids, and everyone was happy being there.
Next, after watching Jord in his play, we signed him out and headed to see Ju's "How the Kiwis Lost Its Wings." The children participants were dressed according to colours that relate to type of species. Some kids were dressed as woods, with facial paints on. We didn't see her. At first, K assumed she was one of the tree people, but we didn't spot her in that group. As Ju was wearing deep blue top, I thought she was involved in the group of dark topped, who were some sort of birds. When the dark top kids got on stage, we didn't see her. Jord, at this point, kept on asking where Ju was. The play ended and we still hadn't seen Ju. But the play had to be reenacted for the late comers, it was there that we discovered her in the bunch of yellow tshirts kids. She was, this was found out later, a bug that habituate in the woods. I toook a picture of her, just one. But I did take more pictures later in the night when we got out. Ju seemed to enjoy the attention, which I thought she deserved it. Good to see her having fun.
So after watching both of the kids' performances, K decided to buy them some treats. K bought chocolates and cookies for both of them for their rewards.
The whole night was awesome, I would say. It was filled with some awesome entertainment by the kids, and everyone was happy being there.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Sims 3
Problems that I see in the game The SIms 3;
- The fact that when my sim becomes a widower and their status on the family tree doesn't reflect that. Instead, they've become single again. Why aren't they acknowledged that they were once married to somebody or that they are still in love with their deceased. Without any recognition by it, the sims themselves seem hollow, despite mourning after the death.
- The family tree has another crroection needed to be made. We want to see the whole family tree, rather the three generations that are offerred per screen view. And also, cousins and aunts and uncles should be included as well.
I might have some other problems but these are the obvious ones that require change.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Annoying Bugs
A few things that bug me as of late;
- Having dinner at usual 5pm. Really sick becasue I have to get the children and myself fed before the parents return, usually around 5.30-6pm. On weekends, I have to get prepare dinner even earlier, around 4.30-ish. This is because the parents come home earlier as well. Now I ask myself, what the fcuk! Who eats this early. I mean having a meal at 4pm is the equivalent of having afternoon snack and then around 9pm, you'd be hungry again, making the supposedly "dinner" to become pointless. Anyway, the condition of which is part of living in an unusual house.
- At times, such as last Saturady, I didn't feel like having dinner at 4.30pm as supposed to. So when they arrived, I didn't have any dinner that night. I didn't want to eat with them. Fcuked up.
- My mind keeps telling me to do good with the children. I know that they are only children themselves, thus their actions shouldn't be taken seriously. But if you could only hear the things that they say. I doubt you'd still consider them children. The parents have a lof of say to what the children have gathered as jokes to tell to people. SO the topics used by the parents are not decent and something children shouldn't know about at this stage in their lives. I tried to discipline them, saying these things that they say aren't nice and offensive to some ears, the children didnot budge at all. I stopped lecturing them. The parents continue to use the nasty words to the kids this day.
- Bad skin. Period.
- Depression sucks.
- Stuck in room for most of the period the parents are at home. I don't want to see them, so I spent much of the time that they are in the house hibernating in my room. It fucking sucks because I like spaciousness. Still, not seeing them is the lesser of two evils.
Falling Asleep In the Car
Today, I felt really tired. This is because for the last few nights, I was sleeping later. I was depressed and didn't want to sleep for morning will come sooner (mornings are dreadful in that the preparation of the children before school starts consists of the same routine- shouting).
So anyway, Ken had taken me and K to this shop that he saw he liked. I was so in such a bad mood that I spent most of the time of the trip in a drowsy state. To compensate on my non-involvement in the discussion about the shop, luckily, K was there to chime in.
REALLY REALLY HAVE TO SLEEP TONIGHT!!!
So anyway, Ken had taken me and K to this shop that he saw he liked. I was so in such a bad mood that I spent most of the time of the trip in a drowsy state. To compensate on my non-involvement in the discussion about the shop, luckily, K was there to chime in.
REALLY REALLY HAVE TO SLEEP TONIGHT!!!
Life After Death
After moving externally from this place, I wouldn't equate such a transition to life and death scenario. I consider this place as hell, therefore in some respect, the journey that is away from here is resurrection. However bad I was under this regime within these walls, still, I think it isn't as bad as, let's say, the big tickets like poverty, starvation. I had it better than most.
But somehow, I'd still like to say that I wanted the transition to be a dramatic one. I wanted them, the douche bag and the oppressed to see that I didn't need them afterall. I have decided that when I leave this place, I will leave them with my possessions that I felt were from them. These include some cash, some gifts like clothing, and some excess money for the time that I used their shelter. It's better that we, the douche bag and the oppressed and I, move in the direction of mutaully understanding, so I will leave here saying thank you to them, despite the oppression that they had laid down. I will be the bigger person.
Post transition will come and I will find my way around the world all on my own, and in the absolute freedom of my choice, though it will be done so with no money. I don't how I will do it, but I just knew that the feeling that comes with it will surpass the feeling of vulnerability by the lack of funds. I plan on mooching of people I know, my past schooling people, and of my other relatives. I will find some way to make it work. I will show to them that I do not require any of their help to get by in life. I'd be thrilled to be cleansed from all of this dirtiness that I had contacted in here. GOd, I can already sense the freedom.
And because of my decision to depart with no money, I will have delay any plans that I have to become more independent. Things like moving to Japan will have to be postponed.
But somehow, I'd still like to say that I wanted the transition to be a dramatic one. I wanted them, the douche bag and the oppressed to see that I didn't need them afterall. I have decided that when I leave this place, I will leave them with my possessions that I felt were from them. These include some cash, some gifts like clothing, and some excess money for the time that I used their shelter. It's better that we, the douche bag and the oppressed and I, move in the direction of mutaully understanding, so I will leave here saying thank you to them, despite the oppression that they had laid down. I will be the bigger person.
Post transition will come and I will find my way around the world all on my own, and in the absolute freedom of my choice, though it will be done so with no money. I don't how I will do it, but I just knew that the feeling that comes with it will surpass the feeling of vulnerability by the lack of funds. I plan on mooching of people I know, my past schooling people, and of my other relatives. I will find some way to make it work. I will show to them that I do not require any of their help to get by in life. I'd be thrilled to be cleansed from all of this dirtiness that I had contacted in here. GOd, I can already sense the freedom.
And because of my decision to depart with no money, I will have delay any plans that I have to become more independent. Things like moving to Japan will have to be postponed.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Goals for the Future
Each day, my life consists of routines and then more routines. It's getting tiresome, as I had demonstrated in the previous weeks with my actions toward the douche bag et sa femme. Sometimes, some goals, made for the brighter future, can only bring me back to the thought of just bite my lips a bit longer.
- Get up each morning feeling free. Have freewill to do whatever I want. Eat dessert for breakfast.
- Get a job and education. Normalcy.
- Travel.
Frustration
This morning I got up, I was feeling ok. Considering each morning in this house consists of the same routine, which involves preparing the children and taking them to school, so to have this feeling of 'ok' was an oddity. What caused the feeling was the fact that I would receive some news on my case today, as I''ll be seeing my lawyer later today.
Anyway, the children were off to school early than usual, and we were free to vacuum the house. WE cleaned it and had some time to watch tv. Later around 11am, we headed for the lawyer's office. They were relocating to a new building, somewhere near the downtown area, so we thought of going there earlier for we hadn't been there. Fast forward 30 mintues later, we got there ok, with minor mishaps, and the place was easily spotted.
My initial impression of the place was that it was big, and they had definitely upgraded themselves from the old office. Anyway, we talked to the lawyers about our case, which took around 1 1/2 hours. MAny paperworks had to be done. Then and there, I felt really small infront of the lawyers. I felt like I wasn't voiced upon even though it was my case and therefore, it was my life on the line. But the fault lied with me. I knew I should've spoken up when I have a concern. Despite that sentiment, I still was mute. I couldn't get my voice to speak up, as if I shouldn't even be there. My sis had the most talking, becasue she knew the back story to our case. For that, I didn't want to contradict her, it might cause confusion. The real reason, I think, lies in that I didn't want to make decisions that will ultimately affect my future. Wimp.
Later in the day, K and I had arguments over my and her performance in the meeting. I was completely a mute in there, while K did her usual moronic self. It turned out, there were a few mistakes on our declaration paper, which had to be corrected and signed by my aunt. AS we couldn't correct the mistakes ourselves, we had to head back to the lawyers tomorrow to get it done. It will the finale for nightmare. I don't want to face this sort of thing again. God, what did I do in the previous life to cause my fate to become greatly unjust?
I am, in desperation, and in ache, for an outcome. I want to have a closer to all this catastrophe that is my current situation.
Moving forward into the afternoon, I wanted to kill myself. Everything was so frsustating, in that the children were acting like brats, and I was acting more like an a**hole to them. I know my frstrations about my case shouldn't have anything to do with the children, I was more thinking about myself. I wanted solitude at that time, but it was stripped away when the three o'clock chimed. However bad it was, it wasn't as bad as I was acting before. Despite that, I did get some progress, getting the kids do their homework.
Evening was nothing but a mere time warp for me. I was in my room the entire time, same as yesterday, similar to the night before last, and was consistent to all nights living here, really.
I really wish that tomorrow will bring good news from the lawyers. I doubt it, though.
Anyway, the children were off to school early than usual, and we were free to vacuum the house. WE cleaned it and had some time to watch tv. Later around 11am, we headed for the lawyer's office. They were relocating to a new building, somewhere near the downtown area, so we thought of going there earlier for we hadn't been there. Fast forward 30 mintues later, we got there ok, with minor mishaps, and the place was easily spotted.
My initial impression of the place was that it was big, and they had definitely upgraded themselves from the old office. Anyway, we talked to the lawyers about our case, which took around 1 1/2 hours. MAny paperworks had to be done. Then and there, I felt really small infront of the lawyers. I felt like I wasn't voiced upon even though it was my case and therefore, it was my life on the line. But the fault lied with me. I knew I should've spoken up when I have a concern. Despite that sentiment, I still was mute. I couldn't get my voice to speak up, as if I shouldn't even be there. My sis had the most talking, becasue she knew the back story to our case. For that, I didn't want to contradict her, it might cause confusion. The real reason, I think, lies in that I didn't want to make decisions that will ultimately affect my future. Wimp.
Later in the day, K and I had arguments over my and her performance in the meeting. I was completely a mute in there, while K did her usual moronic self. It turned out, there were a few mistakes on our declaration paper, which had to be corrected and signed by my aunt. AS we couldn't correct the mistakes ourselves, we had to head back to the lawyers tomorrow to get it done. It will the finale for nightmare. I don't want to face this sort of thing again. God, what did I do in the previous life to cause my fate to become greatly unjust?
I am, in desperation, and in ache, for an outcome. I want to have a closer to all this catastrophe that is my current situation.
Moving forward into the afternoon, I wanted to kill myself. Everything was so frsustating, in that the children were acting like brats, and I was acting more like an a**hole to them. I know my frstrations about my case shouldn't have anything to do with the children, I was more thinking about myself. I wanted solitude at that time, but it was stripped away when the three o'clock chimed. However bad it was, it wasn't as bad as I was acting before. Despite that, I did get some progress, getting the kids do their homework.
Evening was nothing but a mere time warp for me. I was in my room the entire time, same as yesterday, similar to the night before last, and was consistent to all nights living here, really.
I really wish that tomorrow will bring good news from the lawyers. I doubt it, though.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I am an Internet Addict
WHere i live, the internet data usage is limited. We have a certain amount of data cap for monthly usage, which I exceeded it. For this reason, I couldn't use the internet for the last 4 days. A reboot had been done last night, so here I am now.
I wanted to say to for the previous days with no internet access was horrifying. Seriously, for some reason, I felt unease. I think I am an internet addict.
Reflecting back to why I use the internet in the first place, I remember being connected via my brother. Rewind a few years back when I was still in high school, my oldest brother was setting up the connection to online when he used to live with us. AS he moved away, the name still remains in which I became the main user. At first, I wasn't embedded to use it as I am now.
Now though, as I feel trapped within these confined walls, I felt like I needed a getaway. So internet fills in the void in which I lack in real life. I needed to feel connected to the outside world, for going outside in the cyber space will at least keep me sane abit in the midst of chaos in my life. When I don't the internet, my mind will surely be preoccupoed itself with the trouble that is the douche bag and his wife. So, in desperation, I wanted that slight vacation.
Moreover, I wanted to use the internet to catch up with friends that I have built around the world. So this way, I wouldn't feel too isolated as the oppression has caused in reality. It is good for my morality abit, anyway.
There are obviously bad things that is associated with addiction to the internet. However bad it is, yes I know the negative connotations to it, I think the benefits outweigh the costs, at least for the time being. I think I will get over it when I move out of this house.
I wanted to say to for the previous days with no internet access was horrifying. Seriously, for some reason, I felt unease. I think I am an internet addict.
Reflecting back to why I use the internet in the first place, I remember being connected via my brother. Rewind a few years back when I was still in high school, my oldest brother was setting up the connection to online when he used to live with us. AS he moved away, the name still remains in which I became the main user. At first, I wasn't embedded to use it as I am now.
Now though, as I feel trapped within these confined walls, I felt like I needed a getaway. So internet fills in the void in which I lack in real life. I needed to feel connected to the outside world, for going outside in the cyber space will at least keep me sane abit in the midst of chaos in my life. When I don't the internet, my mind will surely be preoccupoed itself with the trouble that is the douche bag and his wife. So, in desperation, I wanted that slight vacation.
Moreover, I wanted to use the internet to catch up with friends that I have built around the world. So this way, I wouldn't feel too isolated as the oppression has caused in reality. It is good for my morality abit, anyway.
There are obviously bad things that is associated with addiction to the internet. However bad it is, yes I know the negative connotations to it, I think the benefits outweigh the costs, at least for the time being. I think I will get over it when I move out of this house.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Abuse
I have been pondering about what could you do worst when it comes to looking after children in their pres teen years. When it comes to narrow the things you can do to your children that is deemed bad, neglection and physical abuse are most definitely there. I come to think that the two are interchangable, in terms of the effects that it will cause the child in the long run.
Neglection, on the one hand, will cause the child to feel isolated and hence, no sense of belonging within the family. It will further put on them that there is no laws that they will obey to. I find that the neglected child will become more agressive when they want attention. They will make you notice them through bad behaviour. Thus, the child will find fulfillment when they misbehave as their primary goal is achieved when attention is given.
In the case, it comes to my mind of one child I know. She was always trying to come up with some mishaving activites that always boil the caregiver. The caregiver, in response to the mishaving, does what he thinks is best, but sometimes the intention is not prevailed in the attempt. His attempt would only fall trap to the child's psychology. Trying to make things better by telling the child that their actions were not justifiede by the results it had inflicted, these things sounded nonsense to them HOw can you try to teach some good behaviour when the child didn't want to listen, and the parents, themselves, weren't part of the solution. Please, don;t mistaken that the caregiver is one of the parents, as he isn't. The parents only reinforce that mischievous behaviour by making it seems like it is funny. By giving the child time outs, you're only playing into their psychology. It was what they had straved for in the first place. THeir primary goal in getting attention is thus achieved.
The solution is obviously giving the child proper attention when they behave magnicently. When they have done something good, like making artwork , you have to applaud for their hardwork and congratulate for work completion. Yet, when the caregiver in my first instance above, gave rave to the child for her good behaviour, it only entered the child's mind for some time and then it returned to bad behaviour. HOw is that possible? Well, there is inconsistency in the parenting technique among the adults involved. The parents, not only participating, refused to at least compromise to alleviate some of the issue. The child, therefore, only wants to listen who she thinks will get her materialistic things. These people are her parents.
The other misconduct a parent can give to the child is physical abuse. IT seems prety obvious. Yes, it hurts them physically and mentally also, and they will properly remember the incident long before gone. The intent in the hitting or smacking is to displine them and to stop them from making such actions again. The adult would think that the child will have to stop their intentious misbehaving so that they wouldn't again be punished by the smacking. Thus, the child will be scared to do such things.
However, that is the opposite of the intention first thought. First, the child will learn that physicial force, regardless of intensity, is only smacking or hitting them is the correct way to get your point across.Therefore they will return the favour later, as they now know that their parent is doing it, so they are only repeating it. Children only do what you do. THey are quick learners. SO when you see children hit other children, it insinuates that their parents were physical with them too.
Talking from witnessing some physical abuse, I find it hard to believe that some parents would want to do that to their own children. I mean, these are their righteous little people of themselves, so you would think they would want to find lesser intense method of discipline. BUt to some parents, in this case my friend's, think hitting is the right technique to get off some boiling heat in them and teach their chirdren to not do it again. All I can say is I'm glad I won't be there when the kids grow up and begin to resent them.
In saying these methods of disciplining a child, bear in mind that they are children, whom were brought here by the parents. So look after them properly, give them all they ever need plus more. Make them love and cherish others the way they were loved and cherished by you. Do the right thing!
If only that is happening over here.
Neglection, on the one hand, will cause the child to feel isolated and hence, no sense of belonging within the family. It will further put on them that there is no laws that they will obey to. I find that the neglected child will become more agressive when they want attention. They will make you notice them through bad behaviour. Thus, the child will find fulfillment when they misbehave as their primary goal is achieved when attention is given.
In the case, it comes to my mind of one child I know. She was always trying to come up with some mishaving activites that always boil the caregiver. The caregiver, in response to the mishaving, does what he thinks is best, but sometimes the intention is not prevailed in the attempt. His attempt would only fall trap to the child's psychology. Trying to make things better by telling the child that their actions were not justifiede by the results it had inflicted, these things sounded nonsense to them HOw can you try to teach some good behaviour when the child didn't want to listen, and the parents, themselves, weren't part of the solution. Please, don;t mistaken that the caregiver is one of the parents, as he isn't. The parents only reinforce that mischievous behaviour by making it seems like it is funny. By giving the child time outs, you're only playing into their psychology. It was what they had straved for in the first place. THeir primary goal in getting attention is thus achieved.
The solution is obviously giving the child proper attention when they behave magnicently. When they have done something good, like making artwork , you have to applaud for their hardwork and congratulate for work completion. Yet, when the caregiver in my first instance above, gave rave to the child for her good behaviour, it only entered the child's mind for some time and then it returned to bad behaviour. HOw is that possible? Well, there is inconsistency in the parenting technique among the adults involved. The parents, not only participating, refused to at least compromise to alleviate some of the issue. The child, therefore, only wants to listen who she thinks will get her materialistic things. These people are her parents.
The other misconduct a parent can give to the child is physical abuse. IT seems prety obvious. Yes, it hurts them physically and mentally also, and they will properly remember the incident long before gone. The intent in the hitting or smacking is to displine them and to stop them from making such actions again. The adult would think that the child will have to stop their intentious misbehaving so that they wouldn't again be punished by the smacking. Thus, the child will be scared to do such things.
However, that is the opposite of the intention first thought. First, the child will learn that physicial force, regardless of intensity, is only smacking or hitting them is the correct way to get your point across.Therefore they will return the favour later, as they now know that their parent is doing it, so they are only repeating it. Children only do what you do. THey are quick learners. SO when you see children hit other children, it insinuates that their parents were physical with them too.
Talking from witnessing some physical abuse, I find it hard to believe that some parents would want to do that to their own children. I mean, these are their righteous little people of themselves, so you would think they would want to find lesser intense method of discipline. BUt to some parents, in this case my friend's, think hitting is the right technique to get off some boiling heat in them and teach their chirdren to not do it again. All I can say is I'm glad I won't be there when the kids grow up and begin to resent them.
In saying these methods of disciplining a child, bear in mind that they are children, whom were brought here by the parents. So look after them properly, give them all they ever need plus more. Make them love and cherish others the way they were loved and cherished by you. Do the right thing!
If only that is happening over here.
Words
According to my dictionary, here are some words that you might see from time to time on my blog;
- Oppression n.- an exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or an unjust manner.
- Depression n.- a mental state characterised by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and despondent lack of activity.
- Repression n.-Control by holding down.
So there you have it. These words are what best describe my struggle.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Work or Study
I've been thinking lately (not a novelty!). If I receive the news that is favourable, do I want to go back to study or should I just find work? Study is always what I wanted to do when I was still in high school. I would be so studious (well, not all the time) in class and loved to do assignments. As of late, however, as I am going through a deep depression and on anxious grounds with everyone in the house, I don't think I want to go back to being a good boy. It could be better that I begin work to get a real grasp of what life can offer. See the real world that way.
Then again, I said to myself that if I could get the news sooner and it was good, then I would head for Japan for a year. It would be considered a holiday and also a life lesson. Going to a different environment, especially to a place you don't speak the language, it would teach something about my life. I want to find adventure there. It would be a metaphor for life.
I was really excited at the prospoect of living in Japan, but of course there are obstructions. First of all, the matter of my life's future is uncertain, still waiting for the news to get back. Secondly, I see some trouble in speaking to strangers. It is a condition, I would say, a derivative of my depression. Anyway, I was shut in a jail (figure of speech of course) for four years that it was bound to get a hold of me. This condition, therefore, will have a big impact, whether I will see myself rise to the surface or sink even deep into an abyss. Thridly, the language barrier will be immense within the first few months of living there. Will I cope with isolation?
On the other hand, I can always go back to school, and then head to Japan anytime agter graduating from school. It is more of a subtle to experience adventure, but deep within me, I want the adventure now. I want it to shake off the horrendous menmories I had dealt in my short years of living.
Either way, the decision is uncertain in the immediate future as I am still waiting for the news.
Then again, I said to myself that if I could get the news sooner and it was good, then I would head for Japan for a year. It would be considered a holiday and also a life lesson. Going to a different environment, especially to a place you don't speak the language, it would teach something about my life. I want to find adventure there. It would be a metaphor for life.
I was really excited at the prospoect of living in Japan, but of course there are obstructions. First of all, the matter of my life's future is uncertain, still waiting for the news to get back. Secondly, I see some trouble in speaking to strangers. It is a condition, I would say, a derivative of my depression. Anyway, I was shut in a jail (figure of speech of course) for four years that it was bound to get a hold of me. This condition, therefore, will have a big impact, whether I will see myself rise to the surface or sink even deep into an abyss. Thridly, the language barrier will be immense within the first few months of living there. Will I cope with isolation?
On the other hand, I can always go back to school, and then head to Japan anytime agter graduating from school. It is more of a subtle to experience adventure, but deep within me, I want the adventure now. I want it to shake off the horrendous menmories I had dealt in my short years of living.
Either way, the decision is uncertain in the immediate future as I am still waiting for the news.
Insomnia Hit Again
There are many nights I find trouble sleeping. I would try my damnest to get a shut eye, but the thought of disconcerning things seem to dominate in my brain. I was suffering from this last night.
I kept thinking about the possibility of getting the who-know-what back and it will be something I dread to see. I don't want it to become a bad news as it will take me back to the place I was. I've suffered through enough obstacles in life, so I don't want it to come to haunt me again. It's really frustrating that your life hangs on the balance for other people who don't know you personally make judgement that ultimately decide your fate. I really am in a state of delusion- don't want to wake up when I'm in a dream, but it must be done because that is the reality of being a human.
I kept thinking about the possibility of getting the who-know-what back and it will be something I dread to see. I don't want it to become a bad news as it will take me back to the place I was. I've suffered through enough obstacles in life, so I don't want it to come to haunt me again. It's really frustrating that your life hangs on the balance for other people who don't know you personally make judgement that ultimately decide your fate. I really am in a state of delusion- don't want to wake up when I'm in a dream, but it must be done because that is the reality of being a human.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
How's the Weather?
We are all affected by the weather in some way. Some of us don't like rainy days, so they prefer staying in during this time. Some don't like sunny days, as it is not the weather condition to suit them. SOme more prefer the weather that is clowdy, lessening the effect of sunburnt. The weather has a way to affect people's mood, so that is why it is one of the most asked questions you ask or get asked by a stranger.
I, on the other hand, don't like talking about it. I think it is such a generic question that people now use to fill in the silence among those who don't know each other that well. LIke asking somebody how they were, only the question was used as a polite gesture, but didn't truly desire to hear what the answerer's day had been. So what other things can you ask people about? Well, for one, ask what you really want to know about them. If you don't think they'll like the questions, then don't communicate with them at all. THey'll also appreciate as well.
By the way, today in my corner of the world, it is exceptionally sunny. Very beautiful.
I, on the other hand, don't like talking about it. I think it is such a generic question that people now use to fill in the silence among those who don't know each other that well. LIke asking somebody how they were, only the question was used as a polite gesture, but didn't truly desire to hear what the answerer's day had been. So what other things can you ask people about? Well, for one, ask what you really want to know about them. If you don't think they'll like the questions, then don't communicate with them at all. THey'll also appreciate as well.
By the way, today in my corner of the world, it is exceptionally sunny. Very beautiful.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
1111
It is an interesting day. It has four one's which makes it the loneliest day in the year.
That is not what I wanted to say about why it is special. Today also marks the 10th anniversary of the most dramatic change in my life. It was ten years ago that my mum decided a change for a better future for us. Now looking back, it doesn;t seem it was worth it. Sure, I am not in the same state as some people living in poverty, but the condition which was laid on me through the ten years had weathered really some hideous memories. I really wish for better future that my mum had intially invisioned would come true very soon.
That is not what I wanted to say about why it is special. Today also marks the 10th anniversary of the most dramatic change in my life. It was ten years ago that my mum decided a change for a better future for us. Now looking back, it doesn;t seem it was worth it. Sure, I am not in the same state as some people living in poverty, but the condition which was laid on me through the ten years had weathered really some hideous memories. I really wish for better future that my mum had intially invisioned would come true very soon.
New Langauge
Something occurred to me today. Yes, it is a rarity but it hit me as I was cleaning the house. I thought if I could come up with a new language, I could be something of great, which I was always inspired to become. Wishful thinking, I know.
Anyway, the new language I thought of was Chinese-based.The ancient Chinese used to draw pictographs represent an idea. These pictographs eventually evolve to the current state of the language. I figured what if I could go back to the ancient times and use these pictographs again. Of course, the difference is that they are drawn to show the exact meaning of the pictograph. For expamle, the word road would be a drawing of a road with cars on it. Obviously, the picture must be simple for ease of writing it but still recognisable. So you see, the concept would be universal, since every corner of the world knows what a road looks like. You wouldn't need a dictionary for this. Pronunciation, grammar, syntax come later as the words are created first.
The conceptual thought of this is only beginning. I think I will spend some of my free time on further developing it.
What do you think about it, aye?
Anyway, the new language I thought of was Chinese-based.The ancient Chinese used to draw pictographs represent an idea. These pictographs eventually evolve to the current state of the language. I figured what if I could go back to the ancient times and use these pictographs again. Of course, the difference is that they are drawn to show the exact meaning of the pictograph. For expamle, the word road would be a drawing of a road with cars on it. Obviously, the picture must be simple for ease of writing it but still recognisable. So you see, the concept would be universal, since every corner of the world knows what a road looks like. You wouldn't need a dictionary for this. Pronunciation, grammar, syntax come later as the words are created first.
The conceptual thought of this is only beginning. I think I will spend some of my free time on further developing it.
What do you think about it, aye?
Too Much Time on Hand
Every weekdays I have free time when the children are off to school. I have six hours of kids-free to myself, and I would comtemplate on what to spend my hours on. Of course, as studious that I was when I was in school, I would tell myself to spend my hours on filling it with productive work such as doing some reading and some studying of foreign languages, Japanese and French in particular. However, whenever the time comes to do these things, I become stoic about it. I would tell myself that I can always do them when I eventually return to school (if that day ever comes). I would then turn to do something else that is less productive like computer games, tv watching, going on the internet like right now. I seem to don't have to control over my mind about what I would do. It's like having one devil and one angel standing on my either side of my shoulders, trying to persuade me to go their way. Always, the devil wins. It's the more fun choice.
Then when two o'clock hits, I get out of what I would be doing, and try to clean up the house. THis would consume approximately 20 minutes. I would, then, go get some snacks or drinks which takes another 10 mintues of the half hour I have left. When quater to three comes, my mind becomes depressed. It would be preoccupied with such mindless thoughts like I would turn to depression for any way of excuse. I would question about the time spent. What did I do today to justify my wake this morning?
Furthermore, I feel that when I don't get what I was meant to do, I don't want the children to come home. I always feel this selfishness in my head telling me that I only freedom to choose when to be lazy. That is one of the reasons I don;t to be here. It limits what I can do and can't do to which time I want. IT sucks living with people who don;t think freedom should be expressed freely, just because these people were raised themselves in a small confined space, where every step is being surveilled by your family. This is 21st century, for Pete's sake, and they don't seem to realise it.
Other times when Pem doesn't go to work, she and I would go about in a car. We would just go until three o'clock. I prefer this way, because I don't want to be confined here when I have the choice of going out to see some light. But the same feeling of depression always comes crawling back at the sight of the number three approaching on the clock.
Then when two o'clock hits, I get out of what I would be doing, and try to clean up the house. THis would consume approximately 20 minutes. I would, then, go get some snacks or drinks which takes another 10 mintues of the half hour I have left. When quater to three comes, my mind becomes depressed. It would be preoccupied with such mindless thoughts like I would turn to depression for any way of excuse. I would question about the time spent. What did I do today to justify my wake this morning?
Furthermore, I feel that when I don't get what I was meant to do, I don't want the children to come home. I always feel this selfishness in my head telling me that I only freedom to choose when to be lazy. That is one of the reasons I don;t to be here. It limits what I can do and can't do to which time I want. IT sucks living with people who don;t think freedom should be expressed freely, just because these people were raised themselves in a small confined space, where every step is being surveilled by your family. This is 21st century, for Pete's sake, and they don't seem to realise it.
Other times when Pem doesn't go to work, she and I would go about in a car. We would just go until three o'clock. I prefer this way, because I don't want to be confined here when I have the choice of going out to see some light. But the same feeling of depression always comes crawling back at the sight of the number three approaching on the clock.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Waiting for the Bus that Doesn't Come
Kim raised something interesting today. As we were out on our usual car get-away, I was telling her that we are living in a rut. It was usual in that the conversation was again about the oppression we are experiencing in this house. Then, I told her that there is a saying that "one must live life to fullest, and treat each day as if it is their last" and we are seriously violating the most important code of life's conduct.
Kim only responded with "instead, we live for tomorrow."
This line really hit on me. It is so true. I remember the many years before, I kept asking mum to get us out of this house. Kim was advocating more so than I was back then. She kept saying things like it will destroy her and the children if things were to continue the way it was. In deed, that prophecy became reality, as evident by everything at present. The response from mum was that we should wait for the situation to settle. The situation here is ambiguous, because I can;t share it right here. She kept persisting that we wait for the papers to come. The repetitions of her response was done half yearly. She would renew her response when the news of our situation changes.
At first, I remembered she said that we only have to wait until what the experts have to say. Would they support us or not? If not, go back home. If so, wait until the papers get back. SO that was the initiation of the waiting game that, back then, Kim and I weren't aware of. Then when they agreed to support us and they lodged an application to these other office persons. We waited and waited only to get a rejection six months or so later on.
Kim and I were obviously devastated by the outcome. We were hoping for a new change, and a new found freedom that comes with it. Prior to finding out the outcome, Kim would ask me hypothetical questions about what the favouable news would do to my life. I was really entrenched by the imaginary world that the questions had posed on me to ponder. However, it only lasted that long. With the unfavourable news that didi come, Kim was ready to move on. I was hesitant at first, but it was inevitable. We talked to mum about going back home. She agreed and we even set a date for departure from this house. The douche bag and the oppressed, however, weren't concerned by the revelation that we were leaving. I wanted them to find a suitable nanny for the kids, in due time I was leaving. Therefore, the transition would be more gradual for the kids to adjust. This is not what they were thinking. The oppressed told Kim that if we decide to leave, just leave. She will, then, call to our cousins who are in my age range, to come replacing us.
WHAT!!! I was so pissed at that. I mean it goes to show that they don;t care about their own children. I thought it is common sense that with any change children are the most vulnerable. Therefore, you need to try to at least minimise the impact for them. In this case, make the transition more gradual in that the children will have time to adjust to the new nanny. And, in the side, I would have more time to myself to worry about the change I was at the time facing as well. Everybody would have been protected in some way from the potential bomb.
Moving to the main point, I was unhappy at I had to wait some more when the unfavourable outcome turned out to be glitch in our case. We had some other back-up from this miracle. Then we waited for three more months. It turned out, it was bad again. But the supporter in the first instance noticed that there is an inconsistency in our case and further lodged it.
That is where we are at. The office people had agreed to our scenario, but of course as with my track record of good luck, there is a heckup that we had to deal with. Now, we have to wait a bit longer for it to come back and to see about the true result.
Mum used these changes in our case to keep us in this jail.
Her most current respond: "Wait until Christmas is over."
Kim only responded with "instead, we live for tomorrow."
This line really hit on me. It is so true. I remember the many years before, I kept asking mum to get us out of this house. Kim was advocating more so than I was back then. She kept saying things like it will destroy her and the children if things were to continue the way it was. In deed, that prophecy became reality, as evident by everything at present. The response from mum was that we should wait for the situation to settle. The situation here is ambiguous, because I can;t share it right here. She kept persisting that we wait for the papers to come. The repetitions of her response was done half yearly. She would renew her response when the news of our situation changes.
At first, I remembered she said that we only have to wait until what the experts have to say. Would they support us or not? If not, go back home. If so, wait until the papers get back. SO that was the initiation of the waiting game that, back then, Kim and I weren't aware of. Then when they agreed to support us and they lodged an application to these other office persons. We waited and waited only to get a rejection six months or so later on.
Kim and I were obviously devastated by the outcome. We were hoping for a new change, and a new found freedom that comes with it. Prior to finding out the outcome, Kim would ask me hypothetical questions about what the favouable news would do to my life. I was really entrenched by the imaginary world that the questions had posed on me to ponder. However, it only lasted that long. With the unfavourable news that didi come, Kim was ready to move on. I was hesitant at first, but it was inevitable. We talked to mum about going back home. She agreed and we even set a date for departure from this house. The douche bag and the oppressed, however, weren't concerned by the revelation that we were leaving. I wanted them to find a suitable nanny for the kids, in due time I was leaving. Therefore, the transition would be more gradual for the kids to adjust. This is not what they were thinking. The oppressed told Kim that if we decide to leave, just leave. She will, then, call to our cousins who are in my age range, to come replacing us.
WHAT!!! I was so pissed at that. I mean it goes to show that they don;t care about their own children. I thought it is common sense that with any change children are the most vulnerable. Therefore, you need to try to at least minimise the impact for them. In this case, make the transition more gradual in that the children will have time to adjust to the new nanny. And, in the side, I would have more time to myself to worry about the change I was at the time facing as well. Everybody would have been protected in some way from the potential bomb.
Moving to the main point, I was unhappy at I had to wait some more when the unfavourable outcome turned out to be glitch in our case. We had some other back-up from this miracle. Then we waited for three more months. It turned out, it was bad again. But the supporter in the first instance noticed that there is an inconsistency in our case and further lodged it.
That is where we are at. The office people had agreed to our scenario, but of course as with my track record of good luck, there is a heckup that we had to deal with. Now, we have to wait a bit longer for it to come back and to see about the true result.
Mum used these changes in our case to keep us in this jail.
Her most current respond: "Wait until Christmas is over."
Random Thoughts
Things on my mind right now;
- I want, so badly from every bone of my body, to get out of this place. I haven't spoken to the douche bag and the oppressed since the bid incident last Tuesday. THey are truly embracing the new found fire toward me and Kim. I don't want to deal with these f***ed up people.
- I got a huge headache. It's pounding my temple as if there is an explosion in there. I can feel the veins making a punching match. Stop it!
- It's Monday and I don't want tomorrow to come. Tuesday till Wednesday only means that Kim will have to go to the shop to lend a hand. I think they don't want her to be there, but in some sense, they want her to get out the house and be their slave, even if it is for momentarily. Kim doesn't like going there either, but she doesn't have a choice. Surrounding people expect that for we live in their confinement. Fuck that!! First I never wanted to reside here in the first place, so why should I repay something I don;t even ask for. Second, they're only doing this to keep us working for them. They have this fixed mind that everyone should work to death. Finally, we don;t get extra pay for working during our supposedly free time from the children. Shit.
- I've noticed today that I seem to have aged alot. I look like I'm in my 30's as opposed to my real age which is 20. The stress, the hate and anger sentiment in the house have caused this. I really hope I can reverse the cycle or at least minimise the permanent effect after leaving this jail.
- Kim had a cavity removed today, costing $220. Fuck, these dentists are the true robbers in our society. It is only legal because they do it under the name of health. Gosh, $220 for cavity removal?!!! It's way too out of line.
- Vietnamese filled buns are delicious. Had one today at lunch time and it was devine.
- Ken doesn't like the butchery at the inlet. I was actually persuasive to him that the butchery, to me at least, was good. It is suitable for them , as it only employs 3 people and the hours are not too bad- 6 days. I don;t think he bought it though.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Shanghai Garden
I want to visit Shanghai someday. This picture only reinforces that. Beautiful garden.Pt 2
Within the last three days, I haven't been talking the big douches of all. They reciprocated that sentiment to me and Kim, as well. That is the way I like it. There is no need to play pretend anymore. No more "how are yous', the bs that they have been implementing to get favours off of us. Now it is the way it is and will be possibly for eternity.
Moreover, the reason I was pushing Judy to play the piano the other night was that she was trying to undermind my authoritisation of the house where I think I should have some power since I am the co-caregiver to the children. Despite the parents being present and it is their house, I still should have some authority over which I can implement them. When and wherever. With or without the presence of the children's parents.
That, however, doesn't occur in the minds of those douche bags. All they care about is money generating, and their kids are only second to money. That is why they spend more time and energy in the bakery to make their sum of cash bigger. So of course to them, only the wealth will determine who is in charge and the lack of caregiving to their children has been maximised by the time and the energy wasted to their love of money. They reason time and again that they can avoid caring for the two kids for this. Therefore, I, who take their money and mooch off of them have to listen to them and the children, thus, doesn't have to follow my authority when in that sense I am also mooching off of the children as well. I don't understand this at all. When do children have the knowledge to be above those who are olderand wiser, and they don't have the logic to act upon themselves what is best for them. SO why listen to them when it comes to living conditions? These douche bags only knew one thing in their lives, that is money and more money. That is the real reason this whole thing is such a mess.
Judy was practicing her potent over me the other night. Her parents were also trying to have leverage over me as well. They were all thinking I was only their slave, without them I would be alive. They think I need them more than they to me. Boy, that is so wrong.
Pt 3 to come
Moreover, the reason I was pushing Judy to play the piano the other night was that she was trying to undermind my authoritisation of the house where I think I should have some power since I am the co-caregiver to the children. Despite the parents being present and it is their house, I still should have some authority over which I can implement them. When and wherever. With or without the presence of the children's parents.
That, however, doesn't occur in the minds of those douche bags. All they care about is money generating, and their kids are only second to money. That is why they spend more time and energy in the bakery to make their sum of cash bigger. So of course to them, only the wealth will determine who is in charge and the lack of caregiving to their children has been maximised by the time and the energy wasted to their love of money. They reason time and again that they can avoid caring for the two kids for this. Therefore, I, who take their money and mooch off of them have to listen to them and the children, thus, doesn't have to follow my authority when in that sense I am also mooching off of the children as well. I don't understand this at all. When do children have the knowledge to be above those who are olderand wiser, and they don't have the logic to act upon themselves what is best for them. SO why listen to them when it comes to living conditions? These douche bags only knew one thing in their lives, that is money and more money. That is the real reason this whole thing is such a mess.
Judy was practicing her potent over me the other night. Her parents were also trying to have leverage over me as well. They were all thinking I was only their slave, without them I would be alive. They think I need them more than they to me. Boy, that is so wrong.
Pt 3 to come
Friday, November 6, 2009
Survivor Samoa Episode 8
Another week's gone, another episode of Survivor had come. It's another disappointment with Erik's elimination. Seriously, what is the matter with the show this season. The predictibility is killing me. I'm seeing the mean girl alliance will dominate this season. It would be a enormous blowout if one of them wins.
I swear to you I will stop watching it. From this episode onward. Unlike last week- promise.
I swear to you I will stop watching it. From this episode onward. Unlike last week- promise.
Update On Bakery
To update on the current deal with the bakery in New Lynn..
Ken had made an offer to the owners. They didn't need to respond when Ken had found out about the lease being short and wasn't allowed for renewal. So there you go, another failure in the journey of searching for a compatible commercial property.
Ken had made an offer to the owners. They didn't need to respond when Ken had found out about the lease being short and wasn't allowed for renewal. So there you go, another failure in the journey of searching for a compatible commercial property.
Hot Air Turned to a Big Tornado pt 1
Tuesday was a big event. That's why I didn't blog sooner as I was still trying to get over the event that ocurred that day. Here is how it went:
Judy was practicing on her piano while I was there, assisting her with the practice. She, at first, was doing great. I applauded for her work, and then she, somehow, began to act up abit. She was saying that I was pushing her hard, making her practice unreasonably long time. She said that I kept making her repeat the same bars too many times that she was bugged at the amount of it. She went on to become a stubborn as a result. Then, I replied to her in order to better your playing, you must practice at a high a volume. The saying "practice makes perfect" truly apllies here. Nobody who plays music was born to play the instruments without any hard work go into their practice. They practice and practice and practice. It is the only to improve on her playing. That's the reason I put forth to her, but it seemed it was to no avail. It did't seem to concern her a tiny bit.
She was still stubborn and didnot play properly. So I told her that just to finish the piece for the final time. She listened and continued to play. And then something ocurred. I was telling something, until now I forget, and she was being aggravating about the thing I told her. Then I got pissed at that, and made her play one more time. She was seemingly unhappy at that idea, and was again stubborn to play the piece once more. She sat there looking bored. 0
I was quite stressed earlier in the day and I was not in the mood to have this girl throwing some dumb tantrum on me. The whole thing was not my idea of fun and I didnot enjoy having to force somebody to do what they don't want. I was merely doing my job.
I, then, told her to go to timeout. She began to cry at this point. I dragged her to the hall way. She cried even harder now, this time shouting that she wanted her mother to come get her. Because her crying was very loud, I wnet to do something else. She stopped abit a moment later, so I went to talk to her. Not only my mind was screwed at that point, my physical wellbeing was also in the work. I wasn't thinking clear. I began to tell IN A SHOUTING VOICE TO JUDY THAT IF SHE WANTS HER MOTHER, CALL THE WOMAN, GET HER HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I was really fucked up at that stage, but I didn't want to back down. Judy repeatedly said she wanted her mum, avoiding my shouting. The battle was on then.
"GO TO THE PIANO AND PLAY!!!!", I screamed. Judy did just that.
Now the problem didn't just quit from there. I was adamant about her play the piece again as I had instructed her and she must play it in a proper manner. Then, her parents returned from work. The trouble transitioned from worst to the most hideous situation. Judy, knowing that her parents would help her out, played not only inproper but didn't finish the piece as was instructed. She cried for help from her mother. Fuck. She cried and cried. Shit. Her dad came to see the situation but didn't rescue her. He even reinforced that she should carry on playing as was said. She didn't listen with her sobbing, the sound drowning her dad's voice. Dad didn't bother at that revelation.
I was eating dinner with Jordan and Kim. Only Kim wasn't, she had to feed Jordan first. JUdy was sitting at the piano across us, still stubborn to play. HEr mother came to offer some aid to Judy and wanted to get Judy away. I thought that if it occurs all the time when the parents are here, Judy would undermine my authority. My authority would be limited to nothing but a mere leech on their resources. So I was really forceful, by then to make her play. She should never be immuned to her duty just simply because her parents couldn't swallow their rice. I told Judy's mum to get out and reasoned with her that Judy was only stubborn as she knew her parents were there. She stepped out eventually.
Judy was still her stubborn self. To be fair, I was more stubborn than her. Kim had told to let it go, I refused to listen. I said again and again to Judy; " play or you will stay here all night if it takes." Nope, it was to no avail.
I was at that moment very ferious at her. I abhorred her for her stubbornness. I, then, warned her when I count to three, she will have to begin to play or I will wake her up forcefully through cold shower.
One, two...three.
I put my arms around her arms, dragged her up and walked to the bathroom. Their parents were there, seeing all this. The crying from Judy, my force on her, the whole thing was very ugly. I didn't care. Why, they were the catalyst to the ugliness.
In the shower, she refused to take her clothes off. SHe screamed, in the while I was trying to get her in the shower. I was really pissed off then. SHe hit the shower handle as she was resisting my force to get her station in the shower and water sprayed on both of us. We got wet and then her dad came to inspect. She got let go, and everything died from there. Judy was sent to her bedroom by her dad, I didn't budge. She was crying still. Her dad was fucking lame when he authorised the whole situation. But still, Judy is his child, if a child only means through blood and caregiving and love isn't part of it.
Have to pause the story for now. Next time will be focused on the moral behind my action.
Judy was practicing on her piano while I was there, assisting her with the practice. She, at first, was doing great. I applauded for her work, and then she, somehow, began to act up abit. She was saying that I was pushing her hard, making her practice unreasonably long time. She said that I kept making her repeat the same bars too many times that she was bugged at the amount of it. She went on to become a stubborn as a result. Then, I replied to her in order to better your playing, you must practice at a high a volume. The saying "practice makes perfect" truly apllies here. Nobody who plays music was born to play the instruments without any hard work go into their practice. They practice and practice and practice. It is the only to improve on her playing. That's the reason I put forth to her, but it seemed it was to no avail. It did't seem to concern her a tiny bit.
She was still stubborn and didnot play properly. So I told her that just to finish the piece for the final time. She listened and continued to play. And then something ocurred. I was telling something, until now I forget, and she was being aggravating about the thing I told her. Then I got pissed at that, and made her play one more time. She was seemingly unhappy at that idea, and was again stubborn to play the piece once more. She sat there looking bored. 0
I was quite stressed earlier in the day and I was not in the mood to have this girl throwing some dumb tantrum on me. The whole thing was not my idea of fun and I didnot enjoy having to force somebody to do what they don't want. I was merely doing my job.
I, then, told her to go to timeout. She began to cry at this point. I dragged her to the hall way. She cried even harder now, this time shouting that she wanted her mother to come get her. Because her crying was very loud, I wnet to do something else. She stopped abit a moment later, so I went to talk to her. Not only my mind was screwed at that point, my physical wellbeing was also in the work. I wasn't thinking clear. I began to tell IN A SHOUTING VOICE TO JUDY THAT IF SHE WANTS HER MOTHER, CALL THE WOMAN, GET HER HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I was really fucked up at that stage, but I didn't want to back down. Judy repeatedly said she wanted her mum, avoiding my shouting. The battle was on then.
"GO TO THE PIANO AND PLAY!!!!", I screamed. Judy did just that.
Now the problem didn't just quit from there. I was adamant about her play the piece again as I had instructed her and she must play it in a proper manner. Then, her parents returned from work. The trouble transitioned from worst to the most hideous situation. Judy, knowing that her parents would help her out, played not only inproper but didn't finish the piece as was instructed. She cried for help from her mother. Fuck. She cried and cried. Shit. Her dad came to see the situation but didn't rescue her. He even reinforced that she should carry on playing as was said. She didn't listen with her sobbing, the sound drowning her dad's voice. Dad didn't bother at that revelation.
I was eating dinner with Jordan and Kim. Only Kim wasn't, she had to feed Jordan first. JUdy was sitting at the piano across us, still stubborn to play. HEr mother came to offer some aid to Judy and wanted to get Judy away. I thought that if it occurs all the time when the parents are here, Judy would undermine my authority. My authority would be limited to nothing but a mere leech on their resources. So I was really forceful, by then to make her play. She should never be immuned to her duty just simply because her parents couldn't swallow their rice. I told Judy's mum to get out and reasoned with her that Judy was only stubborn as she knew her parents were there. She stepped out eventually.
Judy was still her stubborn self. To be fair, I was more stubborn than her. Kim had told to let it go, I refused to listen. I said again and again to Judy; " play or you will stay here all night if it takes." Nope, it was to no avail.
I was at that moment very ferious at her. I abhorred her for her stubbornness. I, then, warned her when I count to three, she will have to begin to play or I will wake her up forcefully through cold shower.
One, two...three.
I put my arms around her arms, dragged her up and walked to the bathroom. Their parents were there, seeing all this. The crying from Judy, my force on her, the whole thing was very ugly. I didn't care. Why, they were the catalyst to the ugliness.
In the shower, she refused to take her clothes off. SHe screamed, in the while I was trying to get her in the shower. I was really pissed off then. SHe hit the shower handle as she was resisting my force to get her station in the shower and water sprayed on both of us. We got wet and then her dad came to inspect. She got let go, and everything died from there. Judy was sent to her bedroom by her dad, I didn't budge. She was crying still. Her dad was fucking lame when he authorised the whole situation. But still, Judy is his child, if a child only means through blood and caregiving and love isn't part of it.
Have to pause the story for now. Next time will be focused on the moral behind my action.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Flags
What is the sutdy of flags called?
My little cousin just borrowed a book on the symbols of flags. It's quite interesting how each falg tells us about each individual country.
My little cousin just borrowed a book on the symbols of flags. It's quite interesting how each falg tells us about each individual country.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
One Sunday Afternoon
Sundays are never good for me. I always feel extra confined within these walls when the kids are around the house all day. Besides, the screamings are mostly done on this day.
However, today was different. Ken and his Wife, Loan, took us out for checking on their potential bakery. They are planning on getting the bakery in New Lynn which is 30 minutes aways from where I live. They took us there because they wanted Kim to check on it as well, meaning to get another opinion as well as their own to see if the shop fits them, or doing good business for that matter. If Kim was going, it only meant I have to too, therefore the kids have to be there as well. It's like a chain with us, the interconnected motion of chain that one has to bring the other. SO off we went.
When we got there, we had to stay inside the car, stalking the shop for customer numbers. It turned out the shop didn't seem to have much customers going in to buy food on Sundays. At most, I saw about 10 people went in. So I had some suspicions about the actual figures the owner of the bakery had laid for us.
Then came lunch. We had lunch at McDonald's nearby the bakery. I had Fillet-o-Fish combo, while the children each had one meal happy meal. Kim had some caesar wrap, as is Loan, while Ken had some burger I couldn't recall. It was quite pleasant for me. The children were well-behaved for the most part, and had gone to play in the playground there. Ken and Loan were also seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was good because I didn't want to think that we were there to ruin their Sunday afternoon.
Later, we went back to check on the shop. But this time, Loan , Ken and Kim were all going inside the bakery to talk to the owners. WHile that was happening, I and the children were stuck in the car with nothing to do. Thank goodness, though, they didn't leave for long. After 20 minutes or so, they returned and then we went to McDonald's again. Ice creams, we all had. Then, home we went.
The event maybe seemed a bit boring for you, but for me, it was fun. Sure, there were moments that were boring, like the waiting in the car experience with the kids, but at least there weren't screamings of sorts. I had a good time. If only most Sundays are like that.
More aboutbakery. I wanted to tell my feeling of the bakery. Initially, I thought the bakery had potential as it was located in a main road. It had good traffic of cars and good parking spaces. But the more I look at it, the more I see it as on the outskirt of a more crowded area. As today had shown, the shop didn't have much paedestrains going to and fro around that area, but the crowd is more concentrated on the backside of the shop, which is where the mall and other shops are. McDonald's is located beside the library and in front of the mall, which is at the back of the bakery. LIke, how can we compete with a mega fast food chain such as McD's. But put aside my doubts, the bakery owners revealed to Ken that its turnover is $7000 per week, which is good. Kim felt that Thursdays must be their busiest day and should therefore be earning them more than $1100 to make up for the lacklaster Sundays. The owners didn't agree and was pushy on the subject, saying that they earn around $1000 each day, more or less so, including on Sundays. SO we couldn't say anything about it. Ken will make an offer to the owner tomorrow and we'll see.
I hope everything for the best for them. Loan and Ken really deserve a good life.
However, today was different. Ken and his Wife, Loan, took us out for checking on their potential bakery. They are planning on getting the bakery in New Lynn which is 30 minutes aways from where I live. They took us there because they wanted Kim to check on it as well, meaning to get another opinion as well as their own to see if the shop fits them, or doing good business for that matter. If Kim was going, it only meant I have to too, therefore the kids have to be there as well. It's like a chain with us, the interconnected motion of chain that one has to bring the other. SO off we went.
When we got there, we had to stay inside the car, stalking the shop for customer numbers. It turned out the shop didn't seem to have much customers going in to buy food on Sundays. At most, I saw about 10 people went in. So I had some suspicions about the actual figures the owner of the bakery had laid for us.
Then came lunch. We had lunch at McDonald's nearby the bakery. I had Fillet-o-Fish combo, while the children each had one meal happy meal. Kim had some caesar wrap, as is Loan, while Ken had some burger I couldn't recall. It was quite pleasant for me. The children were well-behaved for the most part, and had gone to play in the playground there. Ken and Loan were also seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was good because I didn't want to think that we were there to ruin their Sunday afternoon.
Later, we went back to check on the shop. But this time, Loan , Ken and Kim were all going inside the bakery to talk to the owners. WHile that was happening, I and the children were stuck in the car with nothing to do. Thank goodness, though, they didn't leave for long. After 20 minutes or so, they returned and then we went to McDonald's again. Ice creams, we all had. Then, home we went.
The event maybe seemed a bit boring for you, but for me, it was fun. Sure, there were moments that were boring, like the waiting in the car experience with the kids, but at least there weren't screamings of sorts. I had a good time. If only most Sundays are like that.
More aboutbakery. I wanted to tell my feeling of the bakery. Initially, I thought the bakery had potential as it was located in a main road. It had good traffic of cars and good parking spaces. But the more I look at it, the more I see it as on the outskirt of a more crowded area. As today had shown, the shop didn't have much paedestrains going to and fro around that area, but the crowd is more concentrated on the backside of the shop, which is where the mall and other shops are. McDonald's is located beside the library and in front of the mall, which is at the back of the bakery. LIke, how can we compete with a mega fast food chain such as McD's. But put aside my doubts, the bakery owners revealed to Ken that its turnover is $7000 per week, which is good. Kim felt that Thursdays must be their busiest day and should therefore be earning them more than $1100 to make up for the lacklaster Sundays. The owners didn't agree and was pushy on the subject, saying that they earn around $1000 each day, more or less so, including on Sundays. SO we couldn't say anything about it. Ken will make an offer to the owner tomorrow and we'll see.
I hope everything for the best for them. Loan and Ken really deserve a good life.
Survivor Episode 7
Liz is gone.
Yeap, the person whom I predicted earlier in the season is now eliminated from the show. I will have some lose sleeps these few days. Nonetheless, I will recover.
So who will I root for the remainer of the season? Since my other castaway I made a winning prediction, along with Liz, was also eliminated early as well, I guess I don't feel like watching the show anymore. I mean, there are no interesting characters left in the show for me to feel emotionally connected to, hence not wanting to root for them. The lackluster cast this season is not making the viewer wanting to continue to watch the show.
THe producers will desperately need to cast better contestants in the future if they ever want back viewerships. I guess they will try again in season 21 since it will another All-Star season following this one. Until then, they just lost one more viewer in me.
Yeap, the person whom I predicted earlier in the season is now eliminated from the show. I will have some lose sleeps these few days. Nonetheless, I will recover.
So who will I root for the remainer of the season? Since my other castaway I made a winning prediction, along with Liz, was also eliminated early as well, I guess I don't feel like watching the show anymore. I mean, there are no interesting characters left in the show for me to feel emotionally connected to, hence not wanting to root for them. The lackluster cast this season is not making the viewer wanting to continue to watch the show.
THe producers will desperately need to cast better contestants in the future if they ever want back viewerships. I guess they will try again in season 21 since it will another All-Star season following this one. Until then, they just lost one more viewer in me.
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