Back to Reality and First Day at Uni

Im back! It's still a mystery as to what happened last week. I remember going to Sydney for a week, then all of a sudden, I've returned to reality, here in Auckland. It was a good fun time, but I am back to school.

The trip was really excellent. For the first time in a very long time, I had felt I belonged. I don't know, but for the time spending with the people over there, I made the connections to the people who are in the family.

Places we had been to were;

• Cabramatta
• Parramatta
• Liverpool Shopping Mall
  
• Wollongong
• Opera House
• Chinatown

And the likes. M cried as we went to board our plane. She was going too, but when I saw her expression like she had shown, I really wanted to comfort her. I knew how she felt.

Now I am back to uni. ACtually, it's a false statement being I hadn't been to uni before. Today is first ever uni experience, and it felt good. I felt normal, got lost a few times, looking for classes, and the experience was great in that I joined this Chinese Association. Good.

Opera House

Australia is beautiful. To be more specific, Sydney is awesomely stunning. Today, we headed to the Opera House and it was as beautiful as they mention in the pamphlets. Heaps of photos were taken, and yet we weren't able to make ourselves leave. It was that cool.

We also went to the Sydney Aquarium, then to Paddy's Market, Chinatown, all the while enjoying ourselves in the beautiful blue sky weather.

Oh and the trains are double decker so it was good, compared to the ones we got in Akld.

Sydney

Guess where I am now?

I'm right now in SYDNEY. It's really awesome. For as far as I can see, the city is great. Much much food to choose from. It makes the city that I am from looks like an ugly brother. It is.

Student Loan

SHit. I called the student loan people and they made go see them. What do they want? All i am asking is a loan. NOt that I want an allowance, which I could see why they needed to complicate the procedure since the money they give out is not required to be returned. I don't want to do it, but I needed the loan.

WE'll see what they say. Hopefully, it wouldn't be a sad news aye....

Mt Ruapehu Ski Trip

The condition looked exactly like how pic is showing...

Just got back from the ski trip!! It was a blast! Loved it!

Being back means that tomorrow is another overseas trip for a very long time. I am excited, but nervous at the same time. I haven't seen my bro for a long long time. For almost 12 years, to be exact. Oh god. It's gonna an emotional scene when we finally meet him.

So back to the ski trip. It was a very good trip. We rented two rooms near Mt Ruapehu and damn it was very clean. Since when have you found a more clean place? For me this is exceptional.

The skiing itself was fun. Though the weather was dull, and at times hurtful. Hails were hitting on us as we ski. For me, it was that that made the trip even more enjoyable. But by some standard, the blizzard was a trip spoiler, but not for me, aye. Everyone there seemed to be enjoying it as well. So it was all good.

Today was all about driving. We were supposed to hang in Rotorua for the time being, but for the most part, we were in the car, looking for places to go. We had lunch at the Korean/Japanese restaurant where I got a chicken teriyakoi box set. The whole day was there eating and taking some pics at the museum. Nonetheless, and to the most time, the day was ok. Not up to par with the ski day, but it was good for the reasons that we were laughing and more.

We already planned on doing another trip, maybe going to a worm cave. K said it would probably be two months from now. So am already looking forward to it.

My First Week Of Independence

Monday- I was in Ham. My sister in law and I were looking after her butchery, while my brother was going to Auck to get stuff. They were really good to me, especially when they were genuinely concerned about my wellbeing when I moved out. Ken kept asking me about the new place and told me to get enough meat for the whole week. I did in the end, got a few sirloin steaks, two scotch steaks, a tray of chicken patties, and a tray of kumara croquettes. I took the bus that night.

Tuesday- a frustrating day. The people down stairs weren't at work, so I had the whole place to myself. I had plans to clean the room (which was still a mess), go to the australian consulate, and probably go to uni. None of it was done that day, while nothing was achieved to great success. I was angry at myself for feeling that way. But in the end, I did go help out at my uncle's shop as he was about to close the shop. It was a complete waste of time. The day I mean, not the time I was at my uncle's shop.

That night my sister's friend R came to our room because he wanted to plan for the trip with her. They did everything and it ended up that everyone has to chip in around $300 each, double the amount we initially thought.

Wednesday- we went to see the university because K wanted to pay off out student fees. But the line was too long, so we didn't do it. Then we went to the consulate, but they were closed on Wednesday afternoons. For the rest of the day, we traveled to Meadowlands to get my cousin Kem's id photos taken, and then got our bank addresses changed, and the statements. After dropping my cousin off at his place, my sister and I got to this hardware store and ordered this five shelf storage. It was on special and looked reasonably good. Home we got to after that.

Thursday- It was tiring. In the morning I got to the city late for my cousin. Once arrived, we walked to the consulate. I went inside and there was this machine that you press to a number, to tell you the order in which they will see you. I remember it was 16 for us. That morning it was really quick, the queue I mean. I presented to the lady before the class window of the applications for my sister and I. In the end, the applications weren't completed to the standard that they require so we departed. I did learn that they only need two items, financial evidence of how you can support yourself and also the the drawback, which to show either school or work evidence.

So school was my next destination, being that I had official papers from them. I went to the student help centre asking for some paper, which the front desk lady told me I have to apply for it. OH, and they charge $30 for the application. The worst thing of it is that they require two to four working days to process it. I was really dazed because I really needed it for the afternoon appointment with the consulate.

I phoned my sister for advice, but rather I asked her to come to the uni. I did pay for my official paper and when my sister arrived she did hers too. We walked around and eventually got to the general library where my sister had to book a computer, then she could print some unofficial documents, in hope that the consulate would accept for the time being.

By the time we were done with the printing, it was twelve meaning that the consulate is closed. Shit, so my sister and I headed back to my uncle's shop to help him. Upon arrival, the shop was in a mess, and there weren't many pies in the warmer. It was quite chaotic. We helped out in making some sausage rolls and K did the selling, thus reducing workload on the pair.

We got back to the consulate at almost two. The wait was rediculous as it took us almost two hours until they called us. Anyway, the questioning wasn't that back. She just looked at our papers from bank, uni and then just told us to return tomorrow to collect the passies. AS for my cousin, his wasn't so smooth. He presented the same things to her but because of his status and his only recent stay in this country, there may or may not be a grant. It was a bummer to hear because the costs for the application wasn't cheap and no refund either.

We came back to the shop to finish off our help for the day. Uncle K needed to go shopping so he closed the place early. Uncle invited us, including Kem, to come to his house tonight to have hot pot. We of course said yes. Nowadays, we go anyplace that has free food really. We came up to the room first and then showered. Kem came to check out our room, and he said it looked cramped. True.

The next destination for us was the hardware store to collect the shelf. Then to uncle's place to have dinner. By then the time was 7;30, we eventually decided to go get some winter gear, preparing for the upcoming trip.

After that we dropped my cousin off, and then we got to the room to set up the shelf and tidy up the room.

Friday- nothing much sofar. I am only washing my clothes. Then I would have to leave for appointment with Alas, and then onto the consulate to pick our passies. Tonight would be the beginning of the ski trip.

Moving

We have moved house!!! I never imagined myself doing this until the moment I told the o about our intention. Now we are the occupiers of this room above the laundrymat. How cool is that?

It is not since the people down stairs have set rules because they require the clothes that they wash for their customers to remain as clean and smell-free. It's actually better than the rules that were impulsed by the douchey couple. At least the rules here make sense.

I am not allowed to cook things that could smell the room and other things that could harm her business. I understood her perfectly, because afterall it is a business. I also think that being here with the room to ourselves, and them, the owners, being absent at night makes life more convenient. Besides, my uncle and his wife have a business near our place, so we could get there to have free food.

The moving itself took us three trips. It was meant to be a single day activity but as we are the most unorganised people in the world, it took us two days to do so. Nonetheless, things were done, and we had also cleaned the rooms for them. It was decently cleaned so I don't think they could complain. Much.

Depositing $100 for the Rent

I had a terrible day beginning to the day. I was going through the usual stunts when the car parked near the kerb on the road. My sister had then left for work, whereas my lazy ass was staying put reading the magazines I had borrowed from the library last night. Then I was too tired and went to sleep.

THen it was the morning had gone that I reaslised I just wasted my morning for this mundane and generic routine. I should've done something to be more productive but there is the thing with me going to aus that prevented me to look serious into work. I should've done something nonetheless.

My sister would then come back to get me to have lunch. I felt pathetic that she had to do this. I was more pathetic when I got to the shop and realised that my presence there was just a mere waste of space. I didn't want to feel this way, but that was the only way to feel anything at all. I was that waste of space, because there was no other place for me to occupy for the time that my sister was at work. Now that is pathetic.

I did consume lunch with sis and my uncle and his wife. They were mad at each other for she was doing something not to the standard of his liking. That was the reason I wanted out as soon as I had lunch. Which I did do.

That was the worst part of the day- feeling most useless.

So after work my sister and I went to see the landlord for the room lease that we wanted to move into tomorrow. We paid them $100 deposit and then two weeks of rent bond because that is what they wanted. We would have the money returned to us when we move out from them.

I am feeling weak in the stomach. Upon coming back to this house, we were supposed to tell the douchey couple about our leaving. Apparently I was not in the mood to do so. So we planned on telling them tomorrow once we had moved our stuff. IT's going to look bad, I know. But we have been this way to them anyway, so it doesn't matter if we pulled this once more time.

Awkward Tonight

Tonight was awkward. Although every night nowadays is just one memory from self-destruction. I am of course talking about the douchey couple's non responsive behaviour and their acting up.

It's been a few days now. I just thought that it's their monthly cyclical behaviour, but I am not staying to watch their next move would be. I just hated that they are doing this just cause they think they are superior than us. Nonetheless, I have decided that I would move out this Saturday. My sister is in on this.

I hope that it's a wise decision because we don't have much money. Yet, I feel it's gonna be hella lot better than remaining in this hell hole with a couple of kids who behave like they are in high school. Thinking about it, they don't have many people staying with them for too long, cause they are the worst people you could live with. It is evident by my various posts on them.

Waiting in The Rain

I know it's not news worthy, nor it is blogworthy. But I just thought it was a nice change to my day. Yesterday I decided to remain in the house because I couldn't bear the thought of getting up. SO I remained in the house doing some copying for my sister, and had done some folding for myself. Then when two o'clock came, I wanted to bus to my sister's place. I thought I would come back with her, accompanying her so she wouldn't feel lonely. The problem was that the o had already put clothes in the washing machine, so I just figured I could delay my bus travel, and wait until the wash was done. I waited and waited, then it was done. I hung them on the lines and then headed out.

It was three then, and there were heaps of children on the bus.

It was around 4.15pm when the bus stopped at the place near K Road. I got off there because it was already 4 o'clock. If I went to the uni or the library for that matter, I would be very late for my sister. There was a dilemma to decide. SHould I have gone to my uncle K's shop via bussing, or walking? I thought I had plenty of time, so I decided to walk in the end.

I walked with sandles on. I didn't wear shoes thinking that the day was warm. But by four thirty, my feet were rediculously frozen. Nonetheless, I kept on walking on.

It was five-ish that I arrived at my uncle k's. I didn't see my sister's car. I thought to myself oh shit. I didn;t want to walk back to the bus and catch it back home. There wasn't any point for me to come here in the first place, then. I just thougth of negative things that popped in my head. I just didn;t want to walk any more.

The weather was getting darker. It was showing signs that it was going to rain. Then there was lightning. I decided instead of walking back to the bus in downtown, I would wait for the bus and catch it there. I went to wait under the bus shelter.

All of a sudden the rain started pouring down so dramatically. A lady came to the shelter. Then another lady stopped at the shelter. One more lady came running. She was soaking and her iphone was wet. The first and third ladies left when the rain slowed its pace. The second lady was with a bike. Apparently she was waiting for the bus as well, as she was heading to downtown. She would ask me for the time when the bus came. I didn't know, which I said to her.

Out of nowhere, my sister's car was uturning from what I saw. I thought for a moment that it wouldn't be her because she would have been home by then. The more I thought the more I didn't believe my eyes. The car was then stopping at the bus shelter, and now I realised my eyes weren't fooling me.

I got in and my sister asked me to ask the lady who was still waiting for the bus whether she wanted a ride. I told her that she got a bike with her, meaning we wouldn't be able to transport her with the bike, as the car couldn't fit it. The lady, instead, came to us and asked for a ride. Of course we gave her the ride, all the way to Queen St. The bike was left there, she said it was an old vehicle, so it didn;t matter about it getting stolen.

During the ride, we did discover some things about each other. Apparently the lady was studying at uni, majoring in Architecture. She was going overseas once she gets her degree. I told her about my studies, which weren't going according to what I had envisioned. She said I was going to do well, you know the nice thing that people would say to others. I wasn't convinced that she meant it.

We dropped her off at nearby Queen St. She thanked us and ran for shade. We then drove off.

I asked my sister about why was she coming back. Did she get home and then came back after not seeing me there? She said no. She said she waited for me at her car until five to five and then she decided to leave. She drove all the way to almost reach the motorway, and then just figured that she would come back for the final check. She would look at the walkpaths, in hope that I was walking, as she would expect me to do. She was looking at the bus stops with shelters. She was expecting that I would wait under them cause of the pouring rain. I couldn't believe this. My sister knew me so so well. It was like she could read my mind.

That is the story of how my sister had the same mind as me for the time that I couldn't bear to think about my own travelling in the night. I love her for her ways of being able to see what I see. It is the a good feeling to know that there is someone out there knowing me this well. Knowing this well to actually rescue me.

Watched Two Good Films

I watched two movies one after the other last night. Both were great. I loved them, enjoyed every minute of either of films. They are great in their own ways, one was inspirational in that I wanted to follow suit in the direction that I want to be a billionaire. The other was just plain fun, and in some way sparked my own nostalgic feeling.

So it is pretty obvious what the film is then when I said that I wanted to become a billionaire like the protagonist in that film. Yes, it is the Social Network. I rememeber wanting to watch the film since its initial theatrical release, but I didn't someone to accompany me. I kept on delaying until last night, I said I had it. I wanted to watch it and there wouldn't be any thing stopping me.

Then there was another film i borrowed. It was EASy A. I don't know why I wanted to watch it. The cover was intriguing so that was that. And it didn't disappoint.

As for today, my sister and I went to check out this room near my uncle K's shop. The place was interesting to say the least because as I was viewing the room, there was an excitment within that said I wanted to move in immediately. I got this sensation that the place brought back memories of the time that my mum, sister and I were homestaying with this Cambodian family. It was an exciting time for me. So I am going to enjoy staying this place. The best thing about it is that i will be as far away from this place as my money could afford. It's gonna be good.

Two Day with Bro and His Wife

I got sick. I was going to my brother's butchery last Thursday. Upon my return to Auckland, I was feeling cold and drowsy. But I am surviving.

My brother called on my sis' phone telling her that he requested my attendance immediately. The girl who works there didn't turn up. To be honest, I didn't feel like going. I was already in this awkward state with them both, and their asking me to be there makes me feel really unease. But of course, I had to go.

The children were also sick . That day I thought I was going to look after them. Being asked to go to Hamilton ruined that plan. I packed my stuff, two bags and all. Then Kim and I left as she would normally, to pick Kem up, to drop him off at his school, and finally going to bus station. We however went to the wrong place to begin with and had to rush to the intercity terminal to make the 0930 bus. To make it to the bus, I got out of the bus when we stopped for the traffic light, and I took my backpack with me. I was planning to ask the bus driver to stop for me so I could get my other bag,

Upon reaching there, I asked the bus driver could I get on the bus? He gave me permission but I had to get my ticket inside the terminal. I did what was told, and then came to the bus to tell him that I needed only a few minutes. He said he would leave on time, so no. Shit, I was panicking. I saw my sister's car stopped at the other side of the road. I wanted to go there so bad, but I couldn't because then I would miss the bus. I couldn't wait for the next few hours, it would look bad with my brother asking to help him out and all. I had no choice but to go on the bus.

My sis would call me in 10 minutes, asking where I was. I informed her of the event that took place on the terminal, so she resumed her day as normal. As for me, I sat on the bus for the next two hours, half sleeping and half awake.

Once arrived, I immiediately walked to the nearby warehouse to purchase myself a vodafone topup as my phone was penniless. I called my brother that I arrived and he told me where to go to wait for him. I then called my sister, whom I had bestmated with, that I got there safely. The rest of the day was me at work, freezing my ass off. Somehow my brother's butchery is really really cold.

That night my bro and his wife took me to this Japanese restaurant. My head and body by then was all frozed up that I couldn't enjoy any of it. I tried to contain myself, not making the sickness to overwhelm the night. We ate, my brother and his wife were so nice and friendly. I felt awkward with them because of the past I shared with them. I wanted to apologise so so bad, but somehow my mouth couldn't produce words to resemble my thought. It was terrible. But the food was devine.

We came back home and I decided to head to bed immediately. I thought to myself that maybe I sleep early I could shake the sickness out.

For the night, I kept waking up. One at 0020, 0400, 0600. The times I woke and could return to sleep. It was terrible. In the morning I wished I could be at the apartment because by then my body was pounding with pain. Yet I knew I was required to go, and I did go.

My bro informed me about what to do at the shop if the girl returned to work. I would just stay outside and do the selling, while helping him do his accounting. I agreed.

It turned out, she did come. I did what was told, and stayed close to the front. The day was quiet. So was yesterday. There was a fieldday across town, so we figured that was the culprit. I couldn't do the accounting for my bro as the computer could recognise the software. I, instead, did it in the evening.

The shop was freeeeeeeeeeeezing. I couldn't stop shaking. My whole body was all paralysed by this intnesity of the coldness.

That is how I got sick. When I returned on Saturday, my body just couldn't handle the freezing experience I gained working for my bro.

Looking For Apartment

I apologise for the lack of quality posts for a long time. My life has been going through a whirlwind. It has been tough for me in the last few weeks. To think that after getting the paper I should be able to live a life that I want. By things have gone all wrong, making me feel less and less like I should be alive, which ironically was the same sentiment that I felt in the depression state.

Anyway, I am now looking for an apartment, or any place really. The people that I live with are kicking me and my sister out. REally.

So my sister is looking for any apartment, regardless of size, as long as it fits both of us in. So the apartment has to be close to uni and to any potential work that I am going to take up. Anyway, speaking of work, I am desperately looking for any paid work. I signed up for McDonalds, for cinemas and Burger King works. I hate this feeling, it's like growing up. I am not ready yet. Not for a very long time.

Don't Want to Return

This week has been terrible. I am sitting in front of my computer in my room, in this house, feeling defeated.

Not going into details about how bad the week had been, but the worst that could come out of this all is the fact that I will have to return to the place that I dread of going to. It is the place that started the whole bad week to begin with. I just don't want to return, don't want to return....

Tuesdays and Sadness

I am reading this book called Tuesdays with Morrie. It is something that I saw on tv and thought it was interesting. I didn't go read it straight away. There was this panic attack that happened late November last year, and then until now I decided to give it a read. The panic was the same sentiment to the theme of the book. That is the reason I want to read it.

As I was reading the book, my heart went back to horror it was in November. I went to shower hopeing that it would erase abit, only it had worsened.

Earlier in the day, there was an argument between the pair whom I stayed with. The dudette came back to the apartment, and my mind ran wild for the whole day. THoughts like why am I here, there attitudes are childish being that they are running a legitimate business, only to throw away these for no significant reason. I fear the worst for them.

There was a selfish thought amongst the others. I wanted to quit then and there. Actually on Monday night that thought had entered my head. I walked to the bus station as they were in the argumentative state. I wanted to get on the bus, as it stopping at the station for temporarily rest stop. I wanted to get on it, just to be away from them, and ultimately from the life that I never wanted in the first place. What happened next was my stupidity running more wilder. I phoned my sister for advice.

In the end, we decided that the wisest thing is to tell them that I want out from two weeks from now. It is the mature thing to do, plus it would mean that my relationship with them is going to remain somewhat neutral. At least that's waht I thought.

When I mentioned about my quitting to the dude yesterday night on our way back from the shop, I said that I wanted to do travelling. It is not a lie, nor truthful either. It's just that i havent fully commited to my plan, or to any plan for that matter. The dude was somewhat casual about it. He said that he would find somebody to replace me, then I would leave., be it one week, one month from now.

THen I told him about his hard work. I was half way through it until he told me to remain silent. I thought he was thnking that I was reasoning with him about my quitting. I didn't correct him though.

So when I got to the apartment tonight, the dudette wasn't there. The room was dark, the dude went to shower as he would normally do. I was in my room, awaiting for my turn, plus reading the book. By then I had read to the part that mentioned inevitability of one thing that dreads me badly, to the point that I coulldn't function for many many days. It saddened me.

The night improved when I came out to have dinner. I cooked three eggs for myself only, didn't speak with the dude. I watched tv as I was eating. He then went inside to sleep.

For one hour later, the dudette came back. I wasn't looking at her, she wasn't at me, I just continued with watching tv. A moment of awkwardness, a lack of knowledge of each others' existence left weakened. I thought I was better than that. But evidently, not so much.

So what is the event that I am telling got to do with the book?

The book is ultimately about life, love and other touchy feely stuffs. The couple on the other hand is doing their best portraying a life that is dying slowly like the professor in the book, with ASL. Only thing they don't know it, because they are obliviously to living to expectations of others.

I feel sad to witness it live and alive in front of my eyes and not doing anything to stop it.

Bowling Night

Last night was fun. We went to bowling for the very first time. My sister had this intention to go for a very long time, and last night was our first time ever being there. She invited my three cousins UL, UY and Kem. She also invited her friend SL and her fake boyfriend Ralf. The night was full of fun.

We had dinner first at the nearby Vietnamese restaurant where the service was terrible. Nonetheless we did have a good dinner. Kem went to pay for all of us without us realising it. We of course in return paid for the bowling which we later went to.

The charge for the bowling games were $19.50 per person. There were two games. We had a bet that who ever would win gets two dollars per game. It was a fun experience, and we definitely would want to return for this reason. In the end, UY won both games. She was consistent in her games.

The night then went on and we got to the arcade to play shoot hoops. Good fun. Again the girl won many games that we played with her. I think she had been there many times before. Then it was probably she got skills. LOl.

Night came to the end at around 11.30pm. It was good fun. K is now planning for another activity that we could all do again in two weeks.

Casino

Last night was really fun. Most fun I have had in a while. It was the night that we went out to the casino. My first, my sister's first, for my two cousins, it was their second, as well as my sister's friend SL. It was my sister's idea to invite them to go out and it was a success in my opinion.

At seven in the evening, we got out of the house, leaving Jord and Jude having dinner with their family. On my way out, I learned that the O had cooked little rice for the whole so Jude was trying to scoop alot for her dad, leaving little for the rest. I thought she was being funny, and it was adorable of her doing this scooping thing. We headed for my cousins' house. From this day forth, my cousins' names will be abbreviated to UL and Kem.

We got to their houses, and we eventually left the house within the next few minutes. Once out, we drove to the city to pick another person, SL. K was the driver. She talked the most, asking so many questions, including one that was about going to skiing in the coming winter months. We all agreed to go when we got free time. We reached there in about twenty minutes, called SL to come out and then finally drove to the restaurant where all of us were hungry.

The restaurant was Italian, and K and I had been on many occasions. We ordered tow pizzas, of which both were halved by different toppings. For the main, we got either pastas or lasagnas. It was good, for me, but I thought the others weren't so keen.

The restaurant was chosen because my sister and I had been there and loved their food. For more, it was close to the Sky Tower, where we would eventually settle after the meal.

We got inside the casino. My first impression was that it looked chaotic with many people just comcentrating on the tables they were at. It was not my ideal place to be. But we got the initial nerve calmed down when my sister tried to exchange the cash she got into chips. We went to the cashier, and were given small change instead of the chips. K talked to this dealer and got the information that you can just change the money at any table.

In the midst of the chaos, we managed to get our heads to playing the games. I played the bacarrat, and lost twenty, whereas my sis lost thirty. SL lost $27, seven dollars were spent on the slot machine. UL lost a hundred, the most lost out of all of us. Kem on the other hand, had won $100, so he canceled out UL's losings.

WE saw UL's parents there playing blackjack with this uncle. It was funny seeing them there. They looked like little kids being there. TO me anyway.

We walked about after the casino. We headed to this night club, but no we didn't go in. Kem didn't have his ID.

WE went to have ice cream. Then headed home. By then, the time was 12.20!!!

Excuse the abrupt ending of the post. I have to go have dinner!! hehe

Thievery

Happy Easter Holiday! For me it's particularly nice to have the long break. The butchery has been talking a big toll on me both physically and mentally. For the physical part, it is mainly about the lack of sleep that is taking away my enjoyment working at the shop. Mentally though, it's actually worse off. For the most parts, it's due to that my mind is not used to being this busy. I do the thinking and fantasing alot, especially about my sad mundane life. It's not doing well.

I have another disturbing thing that occurred at the shop. It is two days ago, on the Thursday, the time was almost when we were going to close. This chick came into the shop, wearing hoodies and was barefoot. She was walking around the shop, one hand carrying the basket while looking to shop. Dani, the girl who i work with, talked to her casually. They were chatting casually, which made me thought that the girl was a regular. I don't know, that was the impression that I got from the way they spoke.

The chick then told Dani that there was a tear in a bag. Dani put it aside on the bench. She then proceed to sell to other people. I was there, didn't think twice about what the bag was telling me. She was in fact trying to distract Dani, because she was going to steal. She thought by having Dani take the bag to the back, and have me not knowing what to do, she could get out of the shop unnoticed, or at least could get away with it.

Dani then told me that she would leave to fix the torn stuff. I said ok. She left and I then walked to the chicken area, then the next thing I heard the bell went ding. I didn't turn to see what was happening, only thought that the bell was just signalling someone was entering the shop. Dani came out screaming to me where was the chick. I replied don't know, that was when I figured the chick had gotten out with the basket containing at least goods over a hundred dollars. Shit, I was really angry and shaking at the same time. It was under my watch and yet I should have known the girl was going to do this. The signs were there; the hood, the barefoot, and her distractions, plus she was hanging around door area. I should've known!!

Then what's worse was my brother's constant shouting. Or lecturing in a high tonal sound. It was really aggravating when you already knew there wasn't anything you could do or say to change the outcome. I was especially angry at myself. I hated that I could have prevented the thievery if I looked up when the bell sounded and could have chased after her. But nope, my head was that stupid.

So yep, that was my first time that something like this occurred to me. I mean I have seen people stole from my before, but those were under a different circumstance. Those were in a bakery where you don't really see the true impact. In this instance, I saw it on the videotape, and it was evident she took the goods under my watch, under my supposedly supervision of the shop. The good part coming out of this, according to my sis, is that now I learned to carefully watch people, anybody.

Moving to a different topic. Last night we visited Auckland. The three of us traveled there around 10 in the morning, had yum char, and partied at my uncle v's place. It was hell fun over there, so i was saddened to return to this place. Anyway, we'd be going back up tomorrow for my aunt Soph's housewarming party.

Updating For the Last Two Weeks

This week has been bad so far. The worst thing for me was yesterday's tragic accident involving my oversized feet and my glasses. Yes all the newspapers in the world have reported of its end, my glasses. i stepped on my glasses, and it is all snapped in half...55555

Ok stop being so dramatic. All I have to do is go through the week without those goggles. I hate to admit it but it's gonna be hard since I don't see well, and working here requires good vision for when I need to pack stuff. I will get through it...

My session with was mixed. I don't know, like, at the end of the session, Brige said that she had figured out my problem. My root problem. What she meant was that she had been trying to see the core problem because when I talk about my family's issues, she just doesn't what is causing these problems. Now she discovers that my root issue is regarding the lack of belonging to a group, that is the sad story of my life. She continued that she wanted to know where I feel most belonged to, which I said that I don't. Neither the groups she presented was my sense of belonging felt most connected to. The sad part was that I actually felt that both groups have rejected one way or another. So she now knows why I have been feeling the way I am feeling...or so her belief.

I don't know. I feel like that was part of my problem. Not now. I was feeling quite rejected when I was younger, by both cultures that I grew up with. At one stage all i could think about was changing my face to fit in with them, which now I don't feel anymore. So I think the problem in pertaining to my lacking sense of belonging is one that was the past. Now I have problems dealing with the future. That is what I think is the core issue.

I will tell her that when I see her again in two weeks' time.

I want to get my sister a job in the lab. She has been searching for a job for sometime now. Actually since the time I moved here. There was an occasion that she was invited back to see the people. The job was some sort of marketing related work. She went there on a Tuesday two weeks ago, and she was called back the next day for a trial. So she did return the following day to only discover that she was going doors to doors to convert people to Contact, the energy company. It was exhausting she said, and it was commissioned pay. In the end she didn't get it because it was her inclusiveness that let her down.

Waiting for The Cleaner, Passed For Learners

I have not blogged for awhile now. This is due to me working in a faraway land. I don't absolute hate it, but I do find hatred in the work that I am doing. Ok I am not making any sense. I'm just too tire to care.

For the last few weeks, I witnessed so many anger in just a short amount of time. Since I came here three weeks ago, there had been at least one or near one confrontation between the couple that I am working for. They just don't get that their actions are just a shameful thing for anybody to see, yet they do this on the wide open space. Well, actually it's mainly the car and the apartment, where I would probably be nearby.

Last Friday I went back to Auckland an overnight stay. The main reason was to see my little kids, my sister, and then there is Bridge. I canceled her three times before, so when I made the Friday appointment, I must keep this one. Coincidentally, I also had another appointment with Andy, who by the way, was more forthcoming with me this time. He said he had been to a seminar, and he wanted to have a new approach to our meetings. We would now have goals to achieve on each appointment.

As for Bridge, we talked about stuff particular on the my concerns. Aging. That's all I am going to cover on that topic.

I was elated to see the kids again after a long absence. They are as cute and as annoying as ever. I still love them. So MUCH. Jord gave me a rocket ship made from containers. It was just great.

Oh I almost forgot. I got my learners last Friday. As soon as I got off the bus, I immediately went to the bank to ask for my bank statement. I needed it for the application. I headed to AA, and then sat the test. It was quite simple. There were a few heck ups with the questions but ultimately I passed with only two questions being incorrect. So now my sister said she would let me drive her car, only she is present as well. DOH.

So right now I am sitting here waiting for ,my brother to return. He went to drop his wife off at the apartment so she could cook while I am waiting for this cleaner to do his job. I don't know why we have to be here when the cleaning is being done, I mean the guy seems trustworthy. My brother is cynical, yeah.