Enlightenment

I have canceled my appointment with Brige for this coming Monday session. I will be starting at the job with my brother during this time, so that is the reason I am canceling the appointment. In the beginning my sister insisted that I should be returning to Auckland so I could see Brige, but that is not the wise decision.

About my previous session with her, we were talking about change. I was telling her that I hate change. That is the reason why I don't want things to move forward, just have them in stationary as long as possible. We then talked about if I had returned to Cambo, because there is a chance that I haven't had closure to the dramatic change that was the move to this country.

The conversation further conclude on the point of change, how it is necessary for life to continue in the manor that it builds on who you are. I told her that I wanted to become a gerontologist in hope to develop anti-aging medicinal pill. Brige on the other hand had believed that by having such thing, lives would be stopped, meaning that you won't gain new life experiences as a result. I rebutted with her saying that the pill would allow people to remain where they are and still have experiences. The undirected result from the pill would be stopping death itself. She doesn't agree, so that we left it at that.

Anyway, the whole time we talked about the change that every person on the face of the planet faces, was actually quite enlightening. I felt shadowed by my own dark thoughts, and in a way, it made me feel that I don't like the way life is dictating you. In the way that God had made people born in this world of uncertainty, the way that we are born to develop these relationships with our loved ones and have that be stripped away from us, is cruel. I don't understand or comprehend the thinking of such a life design. So by speaking to Brige on these topics, she had opened my mind that I am not alone in asking these questions. There have been many many philosophers who have dealt with the same mentality, in reasoning why are we here. They all came to the conclusion in varying degree of their own enlightenment, so I will find my own niche eventually.

Hope she is right, because right now I am as confused as ever.