I have been telling myself to be a better blogger, thus write more deeper stories and to have more frequent posts. I have failed on both fronts. There is no excuse for it and I think my blogging may be hitting that point where I don't have the desire to continue writing. I do hope it is an exception feeling for momentary.
Anyway, for the past week, it's been a trainwreck. Not that it was an aberration from my usual insanity. This week, in particular, was heart breaking since I was feeling the sentiment which most depressed people are replete with. My mind is playing this cruel game one night when I was having a nightmare about the situation in which I am stuck in the rut for a very long time. It showed that I was dying inside for the longevity in which my existance was absent in the real world. I can't stand to see that because I have always thought since the moment I could remember I existed that I want to become somebody great. Somebody, when I die, will be remembered in the history book. However, as time drags on, and my situation seems to be stationary for evermore, this nightmare is becoming more and more a reality.
I would often read people's blogs and see how they are with their lives. When I see how they get along with their lives, it is more evident that I can't be here any longer. The real sad thing is that I am powerless. There was one time I threatened to leave this place and that was the end of it. No change ensued.
I abhor this all shit.
Anyway, my big bro yesterday morning came to visit me. He told me about my mum seeing this fortune teller. The teller informed her that I will receive my case result back in the next 8-9 days. I am a heavy sceptic, but the fact that the teller made a clear deadline seems to be coincidental to what my lawyer had told me last month. I am still a non-believer, though. And oh, the teller didn't mention what the outcome was going to be.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
First Episode of Survivor HvV
The evictee is Sugar. Poor her for being the first one to get voted off. It is obviously the feeling all Survivors dread the most when they get on the show. For one, it's humiliating to be kicked out first. For another, your family and friends would constantly tease you about it. For Sugar, she had to face the thrilling of people who was on her initial season who hated her, would use this to strengthen their cases for not liking her. All well, atleast she tried.
Anyway, I read somewhere showing the leaks of the eventual winner. It also revealed the boot order from the first eliminated survivor to the winner. Sugar, being the first person who got kicked off, had validated the leaksfor me. It had Sugar as their the first boot, which they got right. I wanted to not believe it because it would mean the winner will be somebody I don't like. I want to see if the next boot is right, so then I will know for sure the leaks are confirmed.
Anyway, I read somewhere showing the leaks of the eventual winner. It also revealed the boot order from the first eliminated survivor to the winner. Sugar, being the first person who got kicked off, had validated the leaksfor me. It had Sugar as their the first boot, which they got right. I wanted to not believe it because it would mean the winner will be somebody I don't like. I want to see if the next boot is right, so then I will know for sure the leaks are confirmed.
CNY
Chinese New Year is today. It is also the day my little cousin Jord turns 6. The two coincide so beautifully that we're celebrating the occasions simultaneously. We'll be having a dinner party for the family and we'll be singing the happy birthday tone afterwards. Jord seemed to be excited about it this morning. He got up and began acting all funny. I was annoyed by this revelation because he was asking for presents before the day began. He was obnoxiously telling people about his big day, which I was strongly bothered by the sight of it. I told him off to little avail.
The afternoon was work and work. For me, it wasn't much so, but K was sharing a big shunk of load work. She said she didn't want me to tire myself for "them". The douche bag and his wife, in accompanyment with the kids, went home for the afternoon to pray for good luck for the coming year. It's the norm of how we celebrate this annual event. K seemed to be enjoying every minute of separation from the kids. She had been complimented upon by the customers about her presence which was self-reassuring. THe afternoon was nothing but joyous.
After work, we got to the warehouse store to get a present for Jord. WE already had one gift for him awhile back. It was a leftover gift that we had from Christmas. Now we needed one more for either of us to give to the boy. We got there and immediately found this toy tool set which was perfect since the boy liked that DIY thing. The price was reasonable as well. WHile there, I also bought myself a journal book. I wanted to keep track record of my daily life because I tend to forget. This way when I am older, it'd be neat to relive some moments that I would otherwise forget without the journal.
I know I am probably feminsing myself by having a journal, but look at most scientists. They have them too for reasons shared by me. They have them because they don't wish to precious thoughts, and so do I.
Moreover about the dinner party. It was small and yet intimate held by the continuing conversations. Uncle k and his family were present. Everybody was at the table consuming traditional Chinese meals. THe birthday celebration followed. Jord liked his presents but was forced to surrender one of his twin gifts to the twins when they cried out of jealousy. All in all, it was good.
The afternoon was work and work. For me, it wasn't much so, but K was sharing a big shunk of load work. She said she didn't want me to tire myself for "them". The douche bag and his wife, in accompanyment with the kids, went home for the afternoon to pray for good luck for the coming year. It's the norm of how we celebrate this annual event. K seemed to be enjoying every minute of separation from the kids. She had been complimented upon by the customers about her presence which was self-reassuring. THe afternoon was nothing but joyous.
After work, we got to the warehouse store to get a present for Jord. WE already had one gift for him awhile back. It was a leftover gift that we had from Christmas. Now we needed one more for either of us to give to the boy. We got there and immediately found this toy tool set which was perfect since the boy liked that DIY thing. The price was reasonable as well. WHile there, I also bought myself a journal book. I wanted to keep track record of my daily life because I tend to forget. This way when I am older, it'd be neat to relive some moments that I would otherwise forget without the journal.
I know I am probably feminsing myself by having a journal, but look at most scientists. They have them too for reasons shared by me. They have them because they don't wish to precious thoughts, and so do I.
Moreover about the dinner party. It was small and yet intimate held by the continuing conversations. Uncle k and his family were present. Everybody was at the table consuming traditional Chinese meals. THe birthday celebration followed. Jord liked his presents but was forced to surrender one of his twin gifts to the twins when they cried out of jealousy. All in all, it was good.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Survivor All-Stars II
Before we get to the latest edition of the popular reality show "Survivor", I want to make a few comments on the previous season. As the finale had showed, the winner of that season was the so called dumbass girl, Natalie. She beat the villain of all villains Russ in 7-2 victory at the final tribal coucil. My thought was it was spot on. I felt like she deserved it more because she was indeed playing a very socail and effective game to earn the title. Other people, however, did not feel the mutual sentiment. They ranted about the robbering of Russ' game. He was manipulative and devious in many ways, evident by the sock burning, the backstabbing, etc. Some of these nastiness weren't neccessary, and he should have toned down his condescending ways to get some votes. I wouldn't want to vote for him anyway for these reasons. It was just that his meanness outweighed the thought process to even comtemplate rewarding the title. I think the jurors made the right decision.
Now, onto the new edition of the franchise- Survivor 20. The contestants will be consisting of past players, with nine of whom are three time players. My thought about the cast is somewhat good. I didn't want to see people from later editions because it is too recent for me. However, with the cast like this I think it will a good season to watch.
The person I will bet to win for this season is Candice. My prediction is based on past experiences. On the first all star season, the girl whom most people didn't think deserved to get a second chance won that season. On Micronesia, a similar fate happened. So I think Candice, being that one undeserving second chance player and have some social and physical qualities in her, is going to reinforce that feat of female winners on all star editions.
THis is just the first thought from me about the season. There wil be more posts as the season premiers and porgresses. See if I'm right.
Now, onto the new edition of the franchise- Survivor 20. The contestants will be consisting of past players, with nine of whom are three time players. My thought about the cast is somewhat good. I didn't want to see people from later editions because it is too recent for me. However, with the cast like this I think it will a good season to watch.
The person I will bet to win for this season is Candice. My prediction is based on past experiences. On the first all star season, the girl whom most people didn't think deserved to get a second chance won that season. On Micronesia, a similar fate happened. So I think Candice, being that one undeserving second chance player and have some social and physical qualities in her, is going to reinforce that feat of female winners on all star editions.
THis is just the first thought from me about the season. There wil be more posts as the season premiers and porgresses. See if I'm right.
Plain
The due date was the 8th of February, 2010 which was yesterday. K had promised me that I would be moving out on that date, which it never occurred. It was late last month that K and I had this breakdown about our condition in this house. When in desperation came the promise. She had emailed our lawyer to see an update on our case. THey replied that they were (broken) promised they would let us know by the end of Jan. This had K promted to make the promise to me as she thought she would get the result back by yesterday. Obviously the promise made by the lawyer was false and this had led to me being stationed here longer. I don't blame K for it. It is not her choice to be made, anyway. She didn't put me here in the first place, so why does she need to deal with the consequences. If anything, my mum should be the one to blame. But I am the type to cry over spilt milk.
Other than the broken promise, there really isn't anything interesting to report. The children began school on the 2nd of this month. On the same as their first day, K and I had helped them sorting their stationaries. The amount accumulated over one hundred dollars for both. The kids seemed happy when they saw their school stuff.
Oh, one other thing. Ju went back to piano this past Thursday. K was pissed at that, and so was I!!
Other than the broken promise, there really isn't anything interesting to report. The children began school on the 2nd of this month. On the same as their first day, K and I had helped them sorting their stationaries. The amount accumulated over one hundred dollars for both. The kids seemed happy when they saw their school stuff.
Oh, one other thing. Ju went back to piano this past Thursday. K was pissed at that, and so was I!!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Birthday Party
It's 5.16am when I am beginning to write this blog post. I have the insomniac episode again. Lately, in the last week, it has been more frequent to get these attacks. I was going to sleep earlier than my usual time last night, hoping to get some goodnight sleep, but apparently as evident by my wake right now, it is not the case. Excuse me if I make mistakes, for it is really early.
Last Saturday, the 30th, the twins had their first NZ birthday. It was also their fifth birthday, the big milestone most parents would celebrate grandly as it is the transition from toddler to childhood. The twins did recieve their grand party to mark the occasion but the transition has to be postponed because they won't be going to school this year. Uncle wanted to have the party when he asked K to make the arrangement for a dinner party at this nearby restaurant earlier in the week. He went on to ask her to order a birthday cake as well. K did just all these. So when Saturday came, everything was ready. Everyone, including my bro and his wife, came to the dinner party where there were many dishes were served. I thought it was a good celebration as the two kids were so elated in the presents they were receving on the night and everyone else was having some fun. Therefore the night was a success, in my opinion.
The twins won't be going to school this year, as mentioned above, despite their age dictates they should be, is due to that uncle hasn't found a house to settle in, meaning the kids don't have where to go attend schooling. I was concerned about this scenario last year. With any window of opportunity to tell grams, who is the primary carer for the twins, I would take them, or at least let K do the talking. However, the answer always deflected the actual issue itself. Grams would be somewhat angry as she felt she was accused by us. For some reason, I suppose I was accusative of her but the blame truly lies upon the parents themselves. For starters, Grams wasn't and still isn't capable of managing the kids in the first place because of her age. So why is it her responsibilty to enroll the kids. Secondly, she was promised by uncle that he would find a replacement, so that Grams could go back to home. Obviously as all things had turned out, none of it was achieved. They always blamed their situation to the tie that they have to their business. I find this as an excuse. Nobody had asked them to buy the shop, and nobody had asked them to have kids either. It was THEIR choice to make, and they chose to have them at the same. Besides, some people could manage both if there was effort involved. I have seen it.
It is pointless now, since anything I said is just wind to their ears. The kids will not attend, but K and I have bought these preschool activity books, so we'll bring school to them. For the time being anyway.
There was one other thing worth mentioning. On the party night, the douche bag was behaving like his suggestive name. He was acting condescending to uncle. K had noticed it and so did I. I sensed it as early in the night when we all were having the cake. He didn't come out of his room, which I saw as a disrespect. K told me today if she hadn't stopped herself, that night could've been remembered as the night the douche bag was beaten by a girl. I laughed at that, questioning though what everyone would've thought of the pretentious event. Nonetheless, we kept the opinion to ourselves of course.
So all in all, the children were having a fun, and that is all it mattered on the night of their fifth birthday. Afterall, it was their party. Everyone else was just a catalyst to their big occasion. I hope good things will happen in the future for them. Now though, I should try to get some sleep because K and I will be off to work at the bakery today.
Last Saturday, the 30th, the twins had their first NZ birthday. It was also their fifth birthday, the big milestone most parents would celebrate grandly as it is the transition from toddler to childhood. The twins did recieve their grand party to mark the occasion but the transition has to be postponed because they won't be going to school this year. Uncle wanted to have the party when he asked K to make the arrangement for a dinner party at this nearby restaurant earlier in the week. He went on to ask her to order a birthday cake as well. K did just all these. So when Saturday came, everything was ready. Everyone, including my bro and his wife, came to the dinner party where there were many dishes were served. I thought it was a good celebration as the two kids were so elated in the presents they were receving on the night and everyone else was having some fun. Therefore the night was a success, in my opinion.
The twins won't be going to school this year, as mentioned above, despite their age dictates they should be, is due to that uncle hasn't found a house to settle in, meaning the kids don't have where to go attend schooling. I was concerned about this scenario last year. With any window of opportunity to tell grams, who is the primary carer for the twins, I would take them, or at least let K do the talking. However, the answer always deflected the actual issue itself. Grams would be somewhat angry as she felt she was accused by us. For some reason, I suppose I was accusative of her but the blame truly lies upon the parents themselves. For starters, Grams wasn't and still isn't capable of managing the kids in the first place because of her age. So why is it her responsibilty to enroll the kids. Secondly, she was promised by uncle that he would find a replacement, so that Grams could go back to home. Obviously as all things had turned out, none of it was achieved. They always blamed their situation to the tie that they have to their business. I find this as an excuse. Nobody had asked them to buy the shop, and nobody had asked them to have kids either. It was THEIR choice to make, and they chose to have them at the same. Besides, some people could manage both if there was effort involved. I have seen it.
It is pointless now, since anything I said is just wind to their ears. The kids will not attend, but K and I have bought these preschool activity books, so we'll bring school to them. For the time being anyway.
There was one other thing worth mentioning. On the party night, the douche bag was behaving like his suggestive name. He was acting condescending to uncle. K had noticed it and so did I. I sensed it as early in the night when we all were having the cake. He didn't come out of his room, which I saw as a disrespect. K told me today if she hadn't stopped herself, that night could've been remembered as the night the douche bag was beaten by a girl. I laughed at that, questioning though what everyone would've thought of the pretentious event. Nonetheless, we kept the opinion to ourselves of course.
So all in all, the children were having a fun, and that is all it mattered on the night of their fifth birthday. Afterall, it was their party. Everyone else was just a catalyst to their big occasion. I hope good things will happen in the future for them. Now though, I should try to get some sleep because K and I will be off to work at the bakery today.
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