Insomnia

For the past month I haven't had a good night sleep. It always consists of my mind wondering in the imaginationland. It is hard for me to concentrate on counting sheep. Yeah, I do attempt to make the sheep help me snooze off, but it was never made to avail.

When last night came to call for sleep, I wasn't doing well in the department to get my head around that idea. It made it worse when I think that morning is only a few hours away, which I don't particularly like. I kept feeling wanting to lay my head and just be off in the snoozefest, but that feeling didn't transcend to sleep at all. Instead, my head began to ache. So the whole night I was battling to sleep, I was also made to fight the new found headache that pound ridiculously strong. It's, like, my head is conspiring against my will.

Of course, my head succumbed and eventually fell asleep. When morning arrived, I couldn't help but felt extremely tiresome. I am sick and tired of having this emotion, the feeling to want but couldn't fall asleep. My sister tells me that it is due to depression, something she always says. She, too, does have moments like this. Yet, the only cure for it to find the courage to acknowledge the pain that is causing the stress. I hate it when she makes sense.

I know the root behind the insomnia but I don't have the means to confront it. It is actually beyond my own apprehension because the people, who have the power to solve this, don't know about my depression and probably don't care. They are sitting at their office tables, eating donuts or whatever. Waiting for the future sure does have a toll to your mental health. These people should have just fcking process the documents faster, or at least tell us when they'd finish, so we can have a foundation in our heads. I know they won't listen.

I tell myself that it'd be not before long that we'd find out when we are standing in this situation. Telling myself is one, but seeing the actual result is another. It was the same thing I said last year, and look at where I am now. I just hope it'd be true this time. It'd be something definitely would cure the insomniac episodes.