Waiting

The holiday thing is not catching with me right now. Right off the bat, the holiday and the week had been one that left sour and bitter taste in my mouth. Yesterday, Jude and I had a minor confrontation.

Things were going ok when the dat started. We were planning to take the children to rent movies or just out shopping in general. It was proved to be difficult because the girl was being stubborn in the condescending way. I won't go over it because it was just plain ugly on my part as I wasn't able to realise she is in fact a little girl. At that point I was severely inflicted by depression, noticing how each and every tick I hear was enough to create a world war. We did, however, get out of the house due to the advice given by my sister.

Today was also one that shouldn't be remembered at all. I know that by writing about it on a blog negates the whole purpose of trying to shun this memory but I just wanted to get out my feeling out for the moment. Maybe I won't refer to back here.

So we doing fine for most of the morning. K was debating with herself about cooking lunch. Jord was playing with Jude on the swing, while I was sitting infront of the tv as normal. Suddenly, a cry came pouring with it a sounding to ease the pain. It came from Jude who I first thought was overacting to probable tiny thing. The intention of her cry was actually done to release a pain which was inflicted upon her by Jord who had turned the swing into some rotating device, which by chance caught the girl's finger.

I came to see what was happening. Then seeing that she was hurt, I quickly escorted into the house and had her relaxed on the sofa. Jord tagged behind us explaining the situation, with some of the information maybe misinterpreted as Jude then angrily attempted to drown her brother with an account of her own. It didn't matter, as it was pretty obviously that the situation was not intentional in any way. The girl was behaving rather bad afterward when Jord tried to lean on the sofa where she was resting on. She then shuffed the boy's hand to make him almost slip. I think she was doing it on purpose to avenge what he had ACCIDENTALLY done to her on the swing. I called out on her for this reason and all of a sudden she began to cry. Loudly. And for what?

Apparently she does this majority of the time when she wants attention or wants revenge. She does it in the car at one time when Jord took her paper and she wouldn't let him rest on the middle handrest. She would push his head in clear of it. This was just not an attitude I'd like to witness and indeed I would tell her of this view. She doesn't listen because today was another instance that this happens. And the worst part, she believes I am always favouring the boy, even though I tried my best not to be impartial to either of them. I judge of what I see. What's more, she cried this afternoon just to spite me. Great! Now I have a diva on my hand.

This experience, alone today, had made my day gone bitter. The afternoon was a good improvement to build on what was already a bad day. We went out to have lunch at a Taiwanese bakery. Upon return, we watched out rented movie from yesterday. It was a nice way to escape the chaos for two hours.

Two more days to go before September ends. In those two impending days, I hope that the news would come. My mum's fortune teller would bet on it. Crazy as it sound, I deep down believe him. It is a faint hope but at least it is still hope.