Approximately four weeks ago when I mentioned about the big argument between me and the douche bag and his wife, I am beginning to think it's coming soon again. LAtely for the last few days, I began teaching Ju once again the piano lessons, which I have already mentioned in an earlier post. In that post, I was saying stuff about her being stubborn and I wasn't patient to her reactions, so naturally it was not what was anticipated. An argument ensued, but the explosion wasn't up to the previous extent.
However, I was making her practice today in the most usual way. She was acting in the familiar routine, that is being the stubborn child that she naturally is. SHe didn't want to be there, looking bored and wasn't in it to want to make music. I wasn't mad at first, thinking why the hell I was there for if she was into it. Why do I waste my time for tezaching someone who doesn't even want to be taught. So I dismissed the lesson shortly after trying to lecture her about what the consequences will be if she didn't make effort. Nothing got to her.
I constantly tell myself, why the hell I feel worried for her. I try and try to make her look good to her piano teacher. Apparently good intention doesn't cut it. She doesn't deserve my time honestly. Why after some time, I begin to feel guilty again. I feel like she is only a child like I am feeling now. That is why I really want to leave this place that badly. THe oppression that is imposed on me in this house, it is up to a point to unlivable.
Just wait for a few more months, and you'll be free. I kept telling myself this. I don't know how long I can hold on.
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