Pool

I am seeing a counsellor. The depression was too much for me last year. I was sick by the feeling. It was the worst thing one can possess. So I decided that I'd like to see somebody to help me out. My doctor referred to my counsellor whose name is Bridge. Ok, that is not her really name, but that is what I will call her on this blog.

We talked about my fear of going out in public. She recommended me to go to the swimming pool and get a lesson. She and her husband, too, are getting lessons. So she told us to go and get a lesson to swim as I don't know how. I am now made in this contract that by the time I see her next, which is one and a half week from now, I will already have had a lesson.

She said she's pushy but I think I need that. I wanted my mum to push into developing some hobby or something that I could say my own interest. Bridge was quite gentle in that she wanted me to email the people to make the appointment and constantly backing her claim that it is not hard to do that. I still haven't done it.

We also talked about the family. It's the yoosh.

There was another topic that made me feel really depressed. I won't mention it here, but what she said was logical. She made me realised that we have to deal with the facts as they are, not as how I would like them to be. Sometimes things happen for a reason, even they are bad things, they still have a purpose. It is only our choices and how we react and think about them that made them not as scary. It was quite enlightening but I still feel a little unsatisfied. Not with her, but with reality itself.

So the task to do this week is to enroll myself into a swimming lesson. We'll see that we will go.